A few Random Thoughts

Thought #1: I suppose this is more of an update from my below post. I've been on my meds for a week. Lets just say they have not been my favorite thing in the world (they make a metal taste in my mouth and nose for one) and don't always make me feel fluffy. However, thankfully...they have not been the worse thing either. I feel blessed that I have periods of time when I feel functional and actually...well. Ok, that part is relative. But comparatively, I am feeling on the mend. The constant abdominal pain is gone. Now I'm just dealing with the occasional pain that can put me out of commission. But hey, I'll take it. :) My pharmacist gave me tips on how to take the cocktail of meds to try to diminish the sickness from taking all of them. Guess what, for the most part it has worked. Well, at least I haven't been non functional. Unfortunately, the further I get the worse the symptoms are, which is what I'm assuming the nurse meant by 'just push through'. I guess its from all the meds in my system for so long. Still, all in all I feel blessed that it could be so much worse and it isn't. I have periods of time when I can actually do the things I need to and I'm able to actually work. Which is very important since I'm the only one taking care of me.

Thought #2: There was a time when I was very sensitive with certain things. Ok, when I say a 'time' I really just mean pretty much my whole life minus the last 2 years. I really was super sensitive to others, I can't watch scary movies as they affect my real every day life, and I can never watch a sad movie without tearing up. When another person cries over something.. I can feel their pain, so I cry too. That's what I mean by sensitive. Anyway, I had an experience a couple years back that really hurt me. I didn't really come to terms with it because I hadn't thought much about what it had done to me until recently. What I have realized is that I closed myself off in some ways. In some ways, I guess I didn't want to be me anymore. Well, the last couple months my family has gone through some hard times. Due to these situations, I have had to really look at the situation and inadvertently it has made me look at myself. I guess some of those walls have started to crumble. I am starting to be that 'sensitive' person again. For goodness sakes I am crying at silly commercials even. Maybe it's payback for the 2 year Hyades, but I guess what all this rambling is all about is just to say...I think I'm back. For good or bad. :)

Thought #3: I am so grateful for such great friends. I have this potted plant (the only living plant I own) and it always makes me think of 2 really great friends. I was going through a rough spell last year. They simply dropped this plant by to bring happiness to me. I was quite certain I'd kill it before the month was over. Welp, I was wrong. It's still alive and strong. I've never NOT killed a house plant. Ha. And every time I water it, I think of my 2 friends and how much our friendship means to me. And how much it meant to me that they'd take the time for little ol' me. Again, as I've been struggling with this current sickness, these friends have messaged me and one dropped a 'get well' bag by full of bland foods. haha. Boy she knows me well to know I haven't been shopping for a few weeks. Hate shopping. :) Anyway, it's so great to have friends. True friends who know us, think of us, and act on those feelings. Thanks friends..

Thought #4: I really am grateful for tender moments. My little Cameryn is such a stink but oh so cute too. :) No matter what she's doing, all I have to do is say "Cameryn, I la lu!" (I love you) and she stops what she is doing and says "La lu" with her little crooked smile and soft voice. Melts my heart. There's nothing that can beat the love of a child. I treasure it. :)