Hands carry the Fingerprints that we Leave behind

"I'll just run in quickly to see if they have what I need and slip out just as quickly. I'm late, I'm late." I thought to myself.

As the door opened, to my surprise I was greeted by my mom (the babysitter for the evening) and all the munchkins. It took all of 5 seconds for me to find out that they did not have what I needed. But it took all of 2 seconds for my munchkins to slip their little hands into mine. Pressing ever so slightly, while playing with my fingertips with their other hands. Something completely unconsciously done, but oh so tender and sweet. What a simple act that spoke volumes to me. Unfortunately, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think "Dang my plans tonight! I would LOVE to play with my kidlets instead. But my car is running, and I am late." So with lots of loves left, I was on my way.

But here's the clincher. Though it is days later, I still feel their little hands in mine. I still feel their little fingers playing with mine. It is moments like these, that I treasure. And if I treasure these moments, I KNOW my little munchkins do too. I love taking the time and getting to know them, letting them get to know me. Children crave to tell us stories, they crave to express their love to us, they crave to leave their little fingerprints in this world. I just wonder sometimes if we, the adults, ever care to think back on those sweet little fingerprints and how much they really do leave behind such a wonderful imprint in our lives. Scary thing is, it goes both ways. We leave the same prints behind too. Only our little ones are often times much better at taking care to see them and remember them. I hope our fingerprints are ones that leave behind goodness and love. What kind of fingerprints are you leaving behind?

Secretly Elated by it all...

Sunday was a double wammie. We celebrated 2 birthday's even though Ethan's birthday was a little bit ago and Ryan's birthday was actually that day. He was so good to share the day with his older bro. As I walked into the house, I was on a mission... I simply HAD to find my Ry-Ry! Mission accomplished, he and Ethan were trying to figure out Badmiton. Boy was that hilarious! So inventive! Once they saw me, they came a-runnin'. :) To my hearts joy, of course. Though we were celebrating Ethan that day too, I took special cares to make Ry-Ry know it was HIS special day (since I'd already made it Ethan's day on his actual bday). He curled up in my lap as I sang him my special (nerdy) happy birthday song that only the kidlets get to hear cause let's face it..I don't just sing solo's for ANYONE!!! Yikes!

Can you believe my kidlet's 4?! This is him showing his age. VERY appropriate ;)


We even took secret special pictures too. I'll share with you cause I KNOW you can keep a secret. What can I say, the kids like their pics taken. :) Well.. I can simply PRETEND that I'm the most beautiful princess in ALL of them, can't I? Even though you and I both know the truth. Double Yikes!!

Anyway, here's my secret elation, non birthday related. In comes Brax. He walks right up to Ryan and pats him and says "Ryn, hap birf-day!" Just as this happens, Ethan asks Brax if he wants to play. What?! Usually the boys play with each other and EVENTUALLY include Brax in. This was a first for me to see happen in this particular manner. Yeah!!! Ryan and Ethan began showing Brax how 'they' thought one should play badmiton and so Ryan handed Brax his racket to try it out. That got old fast. So, the next thing I know, Ethan grabs Brax by the hand and they are playing on the swing set. Excluding Ryan. What?! Is this even possible? Usually Brax is the one excluded. Though I'd much rather all the kids playing with each other, I was elated that Brax was the one chosen this time around. And he loved it. He's doing SO well! I guess my heart just soars when he's playing with others, saying 'his words' and interacting like the rest of the kids. (P.S. Don't worry about Ry-Ry. He and I had our own fun on the tramp). Goodness...I remember WHY I don't jump on that thing anymore! Good thing all the kidlets are so little right now that my lil jumps still make them fly. All I can say is T.I.R.I.N.G



Speaking of interacting. So we were opening presents. Brax LOVES this part. Well I was helping the boys and trying to keep all the other kidlets at bay so pictures could be taken of the excitement. One of my tactics was to get Brax to sit on my lap. I was failing, to say the least. So I told Brax.."Braxie, I haven't got my loves yet! (my hugs). So he turns to me, thinks about my words, turns his 'thought' look into the CUTEST smile and gives me the biggest Brax hug. Then he pulls away, holds his hand up in a 'hold it right there' kind of way, and says "Dats enof". And continues to NOT sit on my lap so pictures can be taken. Sigh. What can I say, these kinds of moments are priceless. And worth every second of my life. :)

Mediocre or Great?

As I was sitting in the hospital room last night, I got to thinking of many things. Of how this scene was all too familiar. Of how 'plans' don't always go the way we envision them to. Of how if we dwell too much on these types of things, how easily sadness creeps in. So I say to you... 'Plans Shmans'!!! Oh sure, make plans, but be flexible in knowing that life happens in unpredictable ways. Don't allow THAT to rattle your cage so much that you cannot re-cooperate and instead you wallow in the drama that is your life. Because believe it or not, we all could do that. Instead, roll with it. Be happy! It's a choice. Sometimes that choice feels like a wrestling match, but it IS a choice.

Last night, as I sat in the hospital chair across from my older sister as she lay in bed hooked up to IV's and tubes aplenty, I reflected on all that she has been through. Is she perfect? Um, that would be a NO! Who is? Does any person deserve to go through such horrible hardships and health problems? I personally don't think so. However, it's made her who she is. We talked of many things. I let her talk about whatever she needed to talk about. Though an exhausting night, it is times like these when I know my sister best. We can lay aside all the junk and she is the little girl I grew up with. She is ... my sister.

It's so interesting at how it's times when we have these mandatory 'time outs' that we often times reflect on what is, what could be, and what should be. I am NOT a perfect person. I will never be perfect in this life. That doesn't go to say, I will never stop trying. It was interesting. The other day I was playing a game (yes you read that correctly and no, do not invite me to game night tomorrow cause it's not gonna happen *smiles*)..anyway, I was playing a game where we were given 2 options and you choose which option you'd rather do. Let's face it, most times both options stunk, but it usually made for funny conversation starters. One of them was.."Would you rather be mediocre (average) for all of your life OR know you are meant to do something great your whole life but never being able to attain that greatness." I couldn't swallow it. Because the first option is basically saying you are ok with just getting by with the bare minimum. The second option is saying that you would be ok with constantly feeling like a failure. I honestly couldn't make a choice knowing the outcome of both. Because here's the thing, we come here...to the earth, KNOWING we are meant to do something great our whole life. We are meant to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are meant to be examples to our fellow man. We are meant to be good people and to help one another however we can. We are MEANT to do great things!!! And I HAVE to believe I'm succeeding in those things. Whether it be in some small way or a big way, it doesn't matter because it means success and that is fine by me. So I choose option 'C'. I choose to KNOW I am meant for greatness and KNOWING that I will eventually attain it. Hopefully repeatedly. :)

Moral of the story? Do we still plan? Heck yeah we plan! But the point is, life is not on a train track. We are not bolted down to something and that is just how things are gonna pan out. We can get off course a little bit because of things thrown our way. We MUST be flexible so we can learn from these experiences. That's how we grow. Don't let it make you mediocre or stop you in your tracks. Let it help make you a better person by learning and growing and being happy with where you are at, right now! :)

So Much to Me

I had the great opportunity to volunteer for the Draper Temple Open House. My friends ward was getting a certain number of volunteers for a certain amount of days and they were short. They called me and asked if I'd help. Of course I would help. :)

When we got there, we were told that we were going to be the Bus Ushers. A big responsibility because we were going to actually have reading parts, etc. Most other volunteers just guide the people through by pointing where to go next (since it's a silent tour). Um, two problems. Number one, I get carsick when I read in cars...let alone buses!!! Number two, I get really nervous with public speaking. I know, shocker. I wasn't sure I was up for this responsibility. I was actually more nervous about getting sick, truth be told. I was toying with whether I tell them or not when another lady asked to be moved for the same reason. So I reluctantly told them my dilemma as well, but instead of asking to be moved, I asked if I should just have the faith that I will be fine. He was surprised by my choice of words. He then opened up to me and said that a few others had canceled last minute and they were short handed and really needed me to be a bus usher. But that if I ended up getting sick to please let them know. That did it, I was going to be fine! I was determined!

I cannot tell you how amazing my experience was! First of all, I did not get sick. Second of all it was a very LONG script that took pretty much the whole bus ride to the Temple. Third, I know that it was not MY determination that made it possible for me to fulfill my responsibilities that day.

Friends, I realize not all of you believe in the same beliefs that I do. However, I care about you, as I know you care about me. And just as I love to hear about the things that mean so much to you, I know that you love to hear about the things that mean so much to me. I know that I was blessed that day. I know that when we pray, our prayers are answered. Not always are our prayers answered immediately, but sometimes they are. And they don't always have to be earth shattering. They can be simple little things. But no matter how big or little those things are, in the end, getting the answer means that we do in fact have a loving Father who hears us, who answers our prayers, and who wishes us happiness. Even when we cannot see for ourselves why we must do something, there is always purpose. Just to further my point, I know that I have never been able to read in cars. Just the day before I was getting a little sick just because I was concentrating on tying a bow on a present. Lame? I know, but that's how bad it can be sometimes. But I was blessed that day. My being an usher that day had purpose. I was needed. I should have been sick within the first paragraph of my reading to those people. But I was blessed so that I was able to last for a few hours rather than a few minutes. Afterwards, I went through the Draper Temple since I had not yet been able to go. There is no better place on earth. Time and time again I felt a watchful eye on me. And time and time again, I recited my script as a witness and mouthpiece for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am so proud. Though the tag on my jacket said "Usher" I really felt it said "Usher for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints". You may ask why it matters. Well, I was never a missionary, but I certainly felt the responsibility as a member missionary that day. I was escorting Ladies, Gentlemen, and their children to the most important place they can possibly go to here on this earth, the Temple. I was introducing them to the House of the Lord. What an amazing opportunity.

Welcome Home!!!

Over the weekend my brother came home. We've missed him so much! We were so excited to see him that we even woke up at an insane hour, got small children ready (well some of us..not me), and got to the airport by 5:30am. Let's just say that it felt like we didn't sleep at all. OK, maybe it felt like that for those of us who don't go to bed at a reasonably early hour. Oh, and it was snowing on us as we were carting the chillin's to the hanger. Good gravy it was COLD! With all of that...it was still WONDERFUL! Hooray, Brett is home!

Ok, although having my brother home is pretty much the BEST! My favorite part was 'my kiddies'. :) They were soooo happy Uncle Brett was home! And the best for them was that as soon as they got their turn for loves, he lifted them up in a fling-hug that he does. They squeal and laugh and couldn't be happier. Of course I was standing on watching, and apparently I had a photographer documenting these moments. Hahaha. Thanks Rachel! :)

Some other funny moments of the morning were of course, with my kids. So I'm carrying Ry-ry into the restaurant to where we were going to have breakfast. There were two older ladies already sitting and observing me as I was walking in with him. This is how our conversation went down: Ryry- "What are we doing here?!" (He says in a very curious voice) Me- "We are eating breakfast here, even though it's crazy early." Ryry- "Well that's just GREAT!" Needless to say, his words and reaction caught the ladies off guard and they burst into laughter. It was pretty funny how he said it.

Next moment. My Braxie was unfortunately at the opposite end of the very long table at breakfast. He wanted TT (me) to know he could see me. So he yelled out my name. Rather than disrupt the rest of the family with Braxie's yells, I proceeded to play my blow kissing game with my sweetie. He loves this. I simply blew him a kiss and the game was on. :) He got the biggest Braxie smile. LOVE that smile!!! We proceeded with the game for the next little while until he was distracted with other things. But it's my way of letting him know I love him. I love when we are able to have moments like these. :)


Last moment to note. Ok, so E-boy (Ethan) comes walking over to my sister who is sitting next to me. He declares that he's come to give sugar. I looked down at him to see if he in fact had sugar in his hands. Lets face it, I wouldn't put it passed him. Nope, no sugar in his hands and he was most definitely not looking at me. He was looking at my sister. I nudged her because she hadn't heard him. So when she looked at him, he smiled and said again "I've come to give you lots of sugar". At this exclamation my sister swept him up and started giving him lots of loves. It was the funniest thing. Apparently whenever my sister wants hugs and kisses from Ethan, she tells him she wants some sugar. Hahaha! He was merely telling HER he wanted some sugar this time. Apparently he wasn't gonna wait for her to approach him. Good thing, I think she forgot. And we'd hate for his little heart to be broken that his aunt got sidetracked with having her brother home to remember to give loves to ALL the kiddies. Ha

Tender Mercies and Some Random Thoughts to Boot

I have been taking an institute class this semester. It's been very interesting. I've been edging a time in my life where I was feeling like I no longer needed institute. I was kind of feeling the whole 'been there done that' feeling. Well, without going into too much detail that I do not care to divulge (smiles), I started to look inward to see what it was that I was missing in my life to help make me feel connected. I mean, I am a very active person and it's not as if I struggle to keep my calendar busy, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling of something amiss. The answer came, and attending institute was part of it. I cannot even begin to tell you how it has changed my perspective on my life these past weeks. There is definitely something about having another day in the middle of your week where you spend an hour (or in my case 1 1/2 hrs) engrossed in learning about the gospel.

I am taking Teachings of the Living Prophets. I absolutely LOVE perusing over past conference talks and talking as a class about the meaning of these talks. Last week we spoke about Tender Mercies. Ironically as I was sitting in class, I received a text about my brother (see post below). Tender mercy. And as we had our discussion, it was hard not to think about my life and all of the tender mercies I receive on a daily basis. Elder Bednar says "The Lord's tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ." He goes on to say "We should not underestimate or overlook the power of the Lord's tender mercies. The simpleness, and the constancy of the tender mercies of the Lord will do much to fortify and protect us in the troubled times in which we do now and will yet live." "Truly, the Lord is good to all."

Don't those words just make you happy? The Lord is good to us all!!! He doesn't pick and choose who to bless based on favorites. During these hard times, look at each day and be sure to recognize your tender mercies. You will be amazed at how many you are blessed with, I promise you! Oh how we are loved! :)

A Text to Brighten My Day

Buzzzz, Buzzzz. As I sat in institute class last night, engrossed in the topic of tender mercies (a blog to come), I kept hearing buzzing. So irritating! Whoops...to my embarrassment, it was me! Usually I turn my phone on silent when I'm in class. Apparently I had forgotten. As I quickly grabbed my phone (but not quick enough not to cause a few stares), I looked down and noticed the message was from my sister in law. Hm. My curiosity was peaked, so naturally I took a peak at my message. Holy nugget! Best news!!! My brother, her husband, is back in the USA!!! Whoot whoot! Ok, before you go all "so what" on me, let me explain. My brother has been serving in the army for over a year. He's been in Afghanistan. He won't be home for a little bit longer while they debrief the soldiers, but I cannot even tell you how relieved I am that he is back in the USA.

Ironically we were talking about tender mercies in institute and boy was this a big one! I am so proud of my brother for his service. I am so proud of the man he has become and the man that he is. I feel so blessed to have him back, unscathed.

Bless u YouTube

As many of you know, I am actually a pretty sensitive person. I REALLY hate to watch uncomfortable situations. That includes awkward moments in movies, clips, real life, etc. I just don't love it. Well, I'm gonna toss out a thank you to youtube despite all the awkward stuff out there. Yes there is a lot of crap that is posted on youtube, but there is also some really funny stuff too. As many of you also know, I LOVE to laugh. I really believe that laughing makes for a very healthy life. If you know how to laugh, it says a lot about who you are. Don't ya think? :)

I definitely believe there is a time and a place for laughter and last Wednesday in the ER was definitely one of those times. I know what you are probably thinking. Honestly, laughter was definitely the way to go. Last Wednesday I was eating dinner and my phone rang. It was my sister. Love my sister but sometimes she's what you would call a 'talker' and I had a meeting for my church calling. I figured I'd let it go to my voice message and I would just call her back. But as soon as I thought that, I had the feeling that I should answer her call. As I answered, I realized immediately that something wasn't right. She was really out of it and wasn't making a whole lot of sense. Finally she told me that she was in the ER and could I come. She had just had a Grand Mal Seizure. As my sister and I spent the next 5 1/2 hours in the ER together, we had a lot of time to talk. What an eye opener. Yes, we took our moment to cry in each others arms. But honestly, we only cried for a few minutes. Rather than have a pity party, my sister almost immediately said "I'm so thankful I wasn't driving!" There ya have it folks. Here my sister is laying in the ER after experiencing this horrible thing, and she expresses gratitude. All I can say is our parents taught us right. Even though we experience things that are terrible, there is always something to be thankful for. I too, am thankful she wasn't driving. I am also thankful that my niece was calm enough to take charge of the situation and have her friend get help while she stayed with my sister.



Well, as you can imagine, 5 1/2 hours in an ER is a very long time to be couped up in a fairly depressing environment while you await the 'bad' or 'really bad' news. I opted to keep our mood light and my sister went along with it. We watched YouTube clips on her iPhone. Let me tell ya, I am also grateful to all of you for forwarding me all those funny youtube clips so that I could pull them up for her. We were laughing so hard that the tears were no longer from sadness or worry. Poor neighbor fella. I'm pretty sure the grouchy fella was not happy about our outbursts of laughter. But I know that it was the laughter that helped us through that long night.

I suppose I can't just end my story here. My sister is home and doing ok. She couldn't move very well for a few days and is walking with a cane again. But we are grateful. So many blessings occurred. Though my sister may use a different analogy or phraseology, it goes back to my favorite quote. "Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." It is better to move our feet and dance, then stand idly by, wishing for a different outcome. It is up to us to make what we will with the storms that come our way. It is up to us to dance when there are storms about.