Thank U for Helping me Attain my Goal of 100 Firsts

I did it!!! :) Most of you are well aware that my goal for this year has been to make this year a year of firsts. My goal was to reach 100. I am overjoyed to report that I have succeeded. :) Truth be told, I have exceeded my goal but that really isn't the point. My journey is the real reason for the 100. Here are a few things that I have learned in the past year...

I have learned that no matter what, I am the one who decides whether I can or I can't. Which is very empowering. In realizing this, I have tried to make a more conscious effort in deciding what I really want. Rather then an automatic response, I try to really ask myself do I or don't I really want to do or try this? I try to make this my first question rather then allow my thoughts to go immediately to "I don't think I can or I don't think I'd be any good at it or I don't know if I'll like it". I'm not going to lie, sometimes I find myself still defaulting to my old ways, but for the most part, I really DO what I want when it comes to trying new things now. That also doesn't go to say that sometimes I have to give myself a little pep talk in order to find the courage to do what I really want to do, but I end up doing it. It has been a very fun, insightful journey the last year.

I have also learned a lot about myself. Believe me, there are several things on my list that are harmless and were not very hard for me to try in comparison. But there were also some things that really pushed my fears to the limits. Although at times VERY embarrassing to me to allow others to see, I REALLY wanted to push my fears and push them I did. Though I know my friends would never judge me for my fears, I just hate that they are not logical. The fears I mean. And when horrible fears are not logical, and you realize this, it just makes you feel all that more silly to have them exposed (repeatedly in my case) haha. Regardless, I am grateful to have had the experiences to push myself in these ways. For example, I would never have realized just how much fun rock climbing (still working on it), Sliding down Timp Glacier, White water rafting, etc would be. I don't think I would have ever tried any of these because I would have let my fears get in the way.

I have also learned that more often than not, I ENJOY trying new things. This was a huge surprise to me. I jokingly say that I must have lived in a bubble the last.. well the last x amount of years. :) Growing up, we did not have a lot of money, we couldn't afford to travel or vacation places and as I became an adult, I guess I just stuck to the same mentality. Ironically, I'm the one in my family who has really been able to visit places and have fun in that regard. Kind of sad when I look around and see just how much is new to me still. I will not stop my year of firsts. I will continue to seek out fun firsts to try and hopefully get better at some of the things I've learned that I like to do. We will see. :)

I didn't mean for this post to be lengthy since I just barely posted, but I wanted to update on my year of firsts. I am grateful for friends who have helped me attain my goal by taking me to new adventures, participating with me, and supporting me in this silly little goal of mine. :)

Happy New Years Friends and Family!!!

Tis the Season

Wow, I cannot believe it is over. Although Christmas is over, I hope we all make a better effort to always remember Christ in our lives. That is one thing I love about Christmas, it is a time to REALLY focus on our Older Brother, His birth, His life. I love that we have a designated time to focus on Him. I'm going to try to make Christ more of a focus in my life.

On a different, lighter note... :)

This Holiday Season I've decided to experiment with baking. I've had so much fun. I really like to cook but I hate cooking when it turns out terrible. Rather than admit defeat before I've even tried, I decided that I was going to have fun baking and cooking things I've never tried before. It's been fun. Unfortunately I didn't think to take pics of them until LATE in the season, but here are a couple creations that were really yummy. :)

 
Chocolate Oreo Bon Bons! I dare you not to love them!!! :)

 
Orange Cinnamon Swirl Bread

 
Crunchy Chicken Roll-ups (Now I'm hungry for this goodness, mmm)

Going to see the Lights on Temple Square is a Tradition. Not only is there so much symbolism there, but I just love to go there. Christmas just isn't Christmas unless I go to Temple Square and see the lights. It was sooo sooo sooo cold! Thankfully we went on a night that wasn't snowing, but we were freezing regardless. Brrr. I love that I'm not the only one who participates in this tradition. Any day of the week, you will find crowds of people enjoying the beauties of the lights. What a blessing.

 

 

We spent Christmas Eve at my brothers house (like we have for the past few years). We munch on lots of yummy finger foods, talk, play with the kiddies, and read Christmas Stories. This year our crowd was some what smaller than past years, but you'd never know it with the volume levels we can reach. Poor great-grandpa! lol. Boy the kiddies get so excited this time of year. I LOVE it!!!

 
This is right before Christmas Stories. They were pumped and ready to hear stories. But definitely good sports about letting TT take a pic of them. :)

 

Two of the four nerdy bro's I have. I couldn't help it. I had to post this one. It makes me giggle at my grandpa's face verses my two bro's. Hahahaha. Still laughing. :)

I hope you all had a Wonderful Christmas and I wish you all a Happy New Year!

I can't believe Christmas is almost here!!!

I really cannot believe Christmas is almost here! I swear it was just Thanksgiving the other day!!! Any-hoo, I'm trying to embrace the Christmas spirit by doing everything I love that is Christmas-y but there are so many things that I'd LOVE to do.

See Temple Square Lights (still need to do)
Go to Christmas Lane (still need to do)
Watch cheesy Christmas Movies (have only seen a few, not Nearly enough)
Drink Hot Chocolate in front of the Christmas tree (still need to do)
Ward Christmas Party (check)
Work Christmas Party (check)
Decorate the house (check)
Listen to Christmas Music (check)

As you can see, there are still a few more things I'd really like to do before Christmas arrives. But overall, it has been a really good start. I love Christmas time. I love the lights all around and the music. I love that most people are cheerful. I REALLY love that all of this is centered around 'The Birthday of our Savior'. Just wish most people REALLY remembered that when preparing for the special day.

Wishing you all a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :)

We are the DANCERS

Seriously the funniest video...except I wish they still had the whole skit from SNL. The commentary from the backup dancers was HILARIOUS!!! Try to find it on the actual SNL website. It's worth it. I was laughing so hard. Apparently NBC wasn't happy that people were posting the skit everywhere so they took it off or something. Still, this video is funny. Hello, guys in heels and a leotard is pretty much funny enough. But mix in some dance moves while dancing to a song geared towards GUYS and you get this goodness. :) I will admit, perhaps I think it's funnier because I've actually seen the skit...but still. :) It does my heart good to laugh this hard.

Side note, I totally want to move like Beyonce one day. She's a smooth dancer. Holy toleto! I think that I must move like that in my dreams. I mean, think about it. We've all got to be the star of something right? And since I don't really like the lime light in real life, I think my stardom is in my dreams. And apparently I'm a smooth dancer there. That's all I'm sayin'. :)

Thanksgiving Happiness

This years Thanksgiving was a little different. Usually we have tons of family to celebrate with. The attitude is kind of, the more the merrier. Perhaps this is why it is one of my favorite holidays. As you get older, and all the kids start having families of their own, it's hard to get together for holidays. I guess selfishly I've really loved that (for some reason) Thanksgiving works out for us. For some reason the last several years we have all been able to see each other and be together for a time on Thanksgiving. Whether that means one family has to zoom off after a short time or not, I've really loved it. This year wasn't that way. I actually didn't even get to see half my siblings, but that's ok. Life happens and we can't always get what we want. Haha. Thanksgiving was still wonderful.

I started Thanksgiving off by putting together a co-ed Turkey Bowl with some friends. Yes, you read that correctly. A GIRL put together a Turkey Bowl. Listen, I've never played football before and why let the guys have all the fun?! Besides, we did it last year and I missed out because of my broken elbow. So I wasn't gonna let that happen again. :) Guess what?! I totally made a touchdown! Yup, it was great. I even took a ball to the face once. Let's just say I'd rather not repeat that one! Ouch! But overall, it was a blast!

After football, it was off to the brothers. My sweet little nephew was my cuddle buddy all day! I'm not really sure what got into him and why he didn't want to play. Maybe he just missed me, but he just wanted to cuddle. So cute regardless. At one point, we were sitting there and he was playing with my hands and he notices that I have a ring on my right hand. He got really curious and asked me why I was wearing a ring like his daddy (it's a plain band). I tried REALLY hard not to laugh. He obviously thought girls only wore rings with a diamond on them. lol. Anyway, I told him I like rings and girls can wear all kinds of rings. I also asked him if he was wondering why I wasn't wearing the special ring that goes on the special finger, kinda like his mommy and daddys. We had the cutest conversation. Boy, I just love talking to kids. They say the darnedest things and I love to see where their minds end up going. Too cute!

As usual, I read the kiddies my Thanksgiving children's books. They are starting to remember the books. Perhaps its about time I look for a few new books to bring into the mix for next year. :) Overall, a very good day.

Gratitude

Not only is it the Holiday for Gratitude, but I was supposed to give a talk on Gratitude as well (it was postponed). Due to both of these things, I have had this topic on my mind a lot. Obviously. In a world that tells us that we should want more more more, I find myself very thankful for what I have. Yes, I am human. And yes, I do want things. But honestly, I feel so grateful for what I am given on a daily bases that I don't WANT for anything. I feel like I am provided for what I need. Heavenly Father knows my wants and needs.

I am grateful for a mother who I can call a friend and a wonderful example. I am grateful for the blessing of having the gospel in my life. I am grateful for having a job and a roof over my head. I am grateful for being able to eat food when I need nourishment. I am grateful for health and the ability to explore the beauty that surrounds me here in Utah. I am grateful for the freedoms we enjoy in this country. I am grateful for the people I have in my life who help me to be a better person. I really could just go on an on.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with the ones you love!

Bless u YouTube

As many of you know, I am actually a pretty sensitive person. I REALLY hate to watch uncomfortable situations. That includes awkward moments in movies, clips, real life, etc. I just don't love it. Well, I'm gonna toss out a thank you to youtube despite all the awkward stuff out there. Yes there is a lot of crap that is posted on youtube, but there is also some really funny stuff too. As many of you also know, I LOVE to laugh. I really believe that laughing makes for a very healthy life. If you know how to laugh, it says a lot about who you are. Don't ya think? :)

I definitely believe there is a time and a place for laughter and last Wednesday in the ER was definitely one of those times. I know what you are probably thinking. Honestly, laughter was definitely the way to go. Last Wednesday I was eating dinner and my phone rang. It was my sister. Love my sister but sometimes she's what you would call a 'talker' and I had a meeting for my church calling. I figured I'd let it go to my voice message and I would just call her back. But as soon as I thought that, I had the feeling that I should answer her call. As I answered, I realized immediately that something wasn't right. She was really out of it and wasn't making a whole lot of sense. Finally she told me that she was in the ER and could I come. She had just had a Grand Mal Seizure. As my sister and I spent the next 5 1/2 hours in the ER together, we had a lot of time to talk. What an eye opener. Yes, we took our moment to cry in each others arms. But honestly, we only cried for a few minutes. Rather than have a pity party, my sister almost immediately said "I'm so thankful I wasn't driving!" There ya have it folks. Here my sister is laying in the ER after experiencing this horrible thing, and she expresses gratitude. All I can say is our parents taught us right. Even though we experience things that are terrible, there is always something to be thankful for. I too, am thankful she wasn't driving. I am also thankful that my niece was calm enough to take charge of the situation and have her friend get help while she stayed with my sister.



Well, as you can imagine, 5 1/2 hours in an ER is a very long time to be couped up in a fairly depressing environment while you await the 'bad' or 'really bad' news. I opted to keep our mood light and my sister went along with it. We watched YouTube clips on her iPhone. Let me tell ya, I am also grateful to all of you for forwarding me all those funny youtube clips so that I could pull them up for her. We were laughing so hard that the tears were no longer from sadness or worry. Poor neighbor fella. I'm pretty sure the grouchy fella was not happy about our outbursts of laughter. But I know that it was the laughter that helped us through that long night.

I suppose I can't just end my story here. My sister is home and doing ok. She couldn't move very well for a few days and is walking with a cane again. But we are grateful. So many blessings occurred. Though my sister may use a different analogy or phraseology, it goes back to my favorite quote. "Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." It is better to move our feet and dance, then stand idly by, wishing for a different outcome. It is up to us to make what we will with the storms that come our way. It is up to us to dance when there are storms about.

Love Hate

What can I say about the Winter/Snow season here in Utah? Well, we pretty much have a love hate relationship. I believe it is a mutual feeling, but on that count.. I cannot be certain. We just had our first snowfall yesterday. Word on the street is that it hit my homestead a little harder than most, but again, that was just word on the street. As I was shoveling my driveway (yes, I said shoveling), I came to a few conclusions. I REALLY dislike shoveling snow. Or at least my muscles do. It always makes me feel like I need to call in a professional massage therapist and lets face it, I can't afford that! So as I was contemplating this and growing shorter on time (as I had somewhere to be), I realized that not only is shoveling a back breaker, but it is a major waste of time over a full snowy season. Sigh. I only got half my sidewalks and half my driveway done. Double sigh. My only hope is that the sun will do me the honor and melt away most of what's left. The Sun and I are friends, so I'm counting on the melting. Smiles. Now that I was a complete downer and complainer, I actually do really like many things about this season too. Let's see. Let's do a Love Hate list, shall we?



LOVE hot chocolate and/or hot caramel apple cider. HATE burning my tongue.
LOVE cute scarfs to accessorize the outfit. HATE having to layer 3x's to keep warm.
LOVE going sledding. HATE skidding in the car (my tires are bald, need to fix that!).
LOVE cuddling in front of a fire. HATE the no fire days.
LOVE snow on the trees. HATE snow on my driveway and sidewalks (Darn the shoveling!)
LOVE snowball fights with the kiddies. HATE whitewashing (you meanies).
LOVE snuggling deeper into my covers. HATE jumping out of bed as the cold air hits.
LOVE soup on a cold day. HATE .. nope I just love the soup. :) I make good soup!
LOVE driving/walking around and seeing Christmas lights. HATE traffic to get there.
LOVE the mountains in winter, they are beautiful. HATE driving in the canyons, scary.

Ok, so I know there are so many more things that I love about Winter, but I think this is a good start. I am excited to welcome in this Winter Season. How am I gonna do this? Totally gonna break out my winter wardrobe tonight. Officially saying goodbye to my summer clothing. Sad to say goodbye to the Summer stuff, but it's like I'm getting a whole new wardrobe. What's not exciting about that?

Anyway, on a totally random and different topic, I think I'm gonna try to ski this year. I'm a little freaked out about it. We will have to see if it ends up on my Love or Hate list. I'm just not sure if I can wrap my mind around being excited about having slick pieces of wood strapped to my feet as I'm going down an icy mountain. How is that a good idea? I hear that people really enjoy it. I'm not sure I'm going to be one of those people, but we will see. Yikes. :)

Halloween Visit by the Kiddies

This year a few of my kiddies came trick-or-treating to my house. Oh how I just LOVE Halloween for that reason! Ha. The kids are so stinkin cute when they are all dressed up and excited. Ok, clarification. The kids (when they are the age that they are) are so cute. They aren't into the gross, nasty costume stuff yet. Thankfully. :) As I opened my door, my nephew slammed into me with a big hug and exclaimed "I Thomas" since he was dressed as Thomas the Train, one of his favorite toys. It was so stinkin cute! Then there was Snow White. I am sure Madison was more excited about being able to wear grown up make-up, but she was adorable! Lastly, was my kitty. She was more concerned about the candy then anything else, surprisingly. Usually she's such a ham with pictures but she really wasn't having that. She just wanted the candy. Good thing I was prepared with all the good kinds. Of course. :)

Little Treasures

My nieces and nephews are seriously my joy. I love them so much! There is just something about a child when their face lights up when you walk into the room. There is just something about when a child sits in your lap just to be near you. Or asks you to read to them. Sigh. I love all of it. Ok, not the tantrums so much. But even then, I love the fact that they are trying to express the fact that they are NOT HAPPY. We really are blessed to be in the presence of children. Have you ever thought of it that way? Well, I have.

I came home the other day to a cleaner yard. Some yard work had been done. My brother had been there. As I walked up to my front door, there were 3 bright leaves sitting perfectly on my doorstep. It was then that I realized that my niece or one of my nephews had been there too. How did I know that? Well, they are the cutest things. On several of our outings together they try to find me the most perfect leaves they can find. It brings the biggest smiles to their faces when they accomplish this task and they feel that they are brightening my day as well. So it's kind of become a thing. What can I say, when they smile like that, it pretty much melts my heart. So here I come home to 3 little leaves on my doorstep. A little treasure left by one of my little treasures. What can I say? TT loves to be thought of by her kiddies. :)

Moab is FUN!

This last weekend I went to Moab for the first time. It was so much fun! Honestly, I feel so blessed to be able to travel around a little bit here and there. While hiking, I was just blown away by the beauties surrounding us here. I feel so lucky to live so close to places like this. I can't believe I've never been to Moab before. Believe me, it will not be a mistake I repeat. I plan on going back as much as I can. I didn't get to explore nearly enough. :)



We not only had hiking adventures, we had other adventures as well. For example, on the first day Melissa and I were the only hikers (the others were biking) and we all filled up our packs with water at the local watering hole. Well I was driving Val's car and she needed to get in the trunk and so I gave her the keys. It wasn't until they were pulling away that I realized she never gave them back to me. Needless to say, we were stranded for a little bit until they realized she had the keys. It was kinda funny. We searched the car 3 times hoping she had just tossed the keys in the car before taking off. Things like that definitely build character. lol.

Another adventure.. that night we were going to play Frisbee in the park and a few of us ended up learning how to Latin dance instead. Seriously, it was almost one of those things out of a movie. Just picture it.. a pavilion, streamer lights, couples dancing at night and a cute man and women teaching us how to move. It was actually a lot of fun. I wouldn't go straight to "Tandy had a lot of grace" but I definitely had fun trying. :) I love to dance, but I'm more of a free style kinda girl. lol. This was good for me. I really want to learn how to be more graceful in couples dancing. Practice makes perfect, right? :)

Dang the blog

Not gonna lie.. this whole blogging thing can be a little frustrating. So my laptop has been acting up lately. It doesn't like certain things I do on it. Alright, its a little older but I hate to buy a new one when this one is still working.. technically. Crap! Anyway, I haven't been able to post pics, etc. Well I finally am able to post a few pics before it freaks out. But it's only to find that I can't edit them once they're on here. Double crap! Argh this blogging thing can be frustrating. I got huge pics, double up pics and who knows what else. Hello, I'm not sure this whole blogging world is for me. I'm gonna have to try to figure this thing out when I have more time I suppose.

Patriotic Thank You!!!

As many of you know, my youngest brother has been serving in the military for quite a few years. He has been training and then serving in the war since the beginning of the year. Though it has been hard to have him so far away from our family, I cannot tell you how proud I am of him. From a very young age he has demonstrated a high level of patriotic pride. Something that he shares with our grandpa, who also served in a devastating war. A pride that I see in so many of our soldiers. As I look in our soldiers faces, I cannot help but wonder where this loyalty, pride and sense of duty comes from. As I look into their faces, I cannot help but have an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the men and women who sacrifice SO much for us!

My brother just came home for his all too short leave. He had to travel many hours to get back home and he had to travel on many different flights to reach us. But he said his travel was good. He said he had a really hard time keeping it together when they got to Texas. As they were taxied in, there were 2 fire trucks on either side of the plane and they were shooting their hoses in an arch over the plane as a symbol of gratitude because they knew there were a few soldiers on the plane. As this happened, the other passengers stood up and all applauded them. Old and young. He said it meant a lot. But it didn't stop there. As they got off the plane and went to catch the next flight, they were applauded and cheered by so many others they passed by. They were told that this is what Texas does for our soldiers. This is a regular occurrence.

I am overjoyed at the kindnesses made to show my brother and other soldiers that they are appreciated. Thank you Texas!!! Thank you for your Patriotic Thank You to soldiers!

Honoring those who Fight for our Freedom

Honestly, this whole election has been very aggravating to me. I hate politics. There, I said it! It's true. It's like everyone is so set on bringing out each other's 'garbage' that I don't understand how anyone can view politics in a positive light. How am I supposed to feel good about voting for a person who tries to smear another person while in the same breath is boasting about their own good qualities? It is completely insane to me. At this point, I feel it is a simple choice of choosing between the lessor of the two evils so to speak. Quite honestly it makes me want to throw up.

What REALLY gets me though, is all this talk of pulling out of the war. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I hate war as much as the next person. But what I am saying is that it is a complete slap in the face to those beautiful soldiers who have sacrificed their time, energy, and in some cases.. lives in this war if we pull out of it cold turkey. We dishonor our soldiers by talking about the war as if it has been a complete failure. If you were to talk to a soldier who is currently serving, you would know that they believe it to be a success. They believe it to be worthy of their service. My brother is currently in Afghanistan. He left a beautiful wife behind so he could serve his country for a cause that he believes in. He left his family so he could fight for a freedom that soldiers continue to fight for and that we as every day Americans seem to forget that we continue to have to fight for. Yes, we live in the Land of the Free but that does not mean we do not have to protect that freedom. That does not mean we do not have to continue to fight for that right. I am so thankful to those soldiers who sacrifice continually even when the media leads others to believe what they are doing is for not. I am thankful for those soldiers who sacrifice for our freedom even when it would appear that gratitude is lacking amongst the people who owe them their freedom.

Possible Addiction

Ok, so I'm going to confess something. I struggle with exercise. There...it's out! I seriously hope that my honesty only endears you to me rather than makes your love for me diminish. lol. Anyway, I really WANT to like exercising, but really the love just isn't there. Regardless, I got a gym membership and everything so that I would push myself in the right direction of this goal of mine... Ya know to exercise and like it. I'm determined to be better. I even bought a bike so that I could do more things at home too. I really think I should get an A for effort here. Well, on my list of things I wanted to try I wanted to try kick boxing. Well if you know me, you know I have the coordination of a string bean. So why, kick boxing? Honestly, I have no idea. Maybe cause it sounds tough? Maybe cause my sister-in-law did it and started to get a freakin awesome toned body before she went and got prego? I'm not really sure but it very well could be a mixture of both those things. Whatever, the point is that I wanted to try kick boxing...so kick boxing is what I tried. Dear me! It's hard (with a good teacher) but I can't even begin to tell you how much I LOVE it!!! I'm totally being serious right now! I really enjoy kick boxing. Every time I go, I come out feeling totally wiped out and totally like I had the best exercise for me. It pushes me in endurance and muscle strength. I even am sore afterwards. And get this...I'm starting to see a little muscle. HA. Who woulda thought muscle could build on these skinny little arms and legs of mine? It's very possible that this could become an addiction for me. I'm just sayin, I likey... :) Even though my schedule is insane, I'm so trying to try to keep a regular kick boxing schedule from now on! Yay!!! Hopefully it works out.

Pecan it is!!!

I welcome change, really! It's just that sometimes I have a hard time being decisive. If I have a strong opinion about something, you better believe I'm going to voice it, but when I really don't care one way or another, it's hard for me to decide. Why is that? How can I not have a problem voicing my opinion when I know what I want, but have a REALLY hard time making a decision when it's not going to be the end of the world. This is very baffling to me. If you have any conclusions, let me know. But I digress. I found THE PERFECT HAIRDRESSER FOR ME!!! Seriously! Not only is she very good at what she does, but she MAKES me choose. Yikes! I usually give my hairdresser some idea of what I want and then ask her what her opinion is or what her suggestion would be because of my little problem of making decisions. Well this hairdresser of mine listens to my ideas and then throws back several options for me, so ultimately I have to decide. Double yikes! She's perfect for me! Not only is she helping me attain Total Hot Hairstyle Status (lol) but she is helping me embrace decision making without even knowing it. Perfect!

So I got my hair done yesterday. I had a few ideas but ultimately I wanted a change. Now brace yourselves, I've been very adventurous with my hair in past years. I pretty much will try a lot of different colors. I've had red, black, brown, and of course my natural blond hair colors and various shades therein. I've had hair as short as 1 1/2 inches long to mid back length. I'd say I've been very adventurous with my hair in past years. Well, I just wanted a change and I wasn't sure what. Black again??? No, I'm not that girl anymore. Dark brown??? No, although I loved being a dark brunette, I wasn't feeling the love for it. I've kept up my blond locks for so many years that I needed a change from it. Hmm, then there it was.. Pecan!!! Just the change I needed. Brown, gold, and blond. F.U.N!!! So, pecan it is!

Have You Made A Difference?

Has anyone ever asked you if you feel that you have ever made a difference? This is a topic that is on my mind often. In times of reflection, I often look at where I am at right then. Am I in a place where I am making a difference to those I come in contact with? If my answer is yes, I believe so. Then I am where I want to be. If my answer is no, then I have some work to do. I believe we are all here to make a difference in each others lives. Whether our part is big or small, we can make a difference.

One of the most amazing experiences of making a difference is when I did my Practicum for college. I had the privilege (unfortunate that it's necessary) of working with abused and neglected children in a school-like setting. I worked with 4 year olds for half day and then I worked with 5 year olds for the other half of the day. In some of the situations I had siblings in both classes. In a lot of my interactions with these kids I did a lot of play therapy and tried to get through to them using this technique. In reading their reports and background, it would appear that not many 'teachers' had gotten through to several of these children, understandably. It broke my heart. As time went on, my efforts did not go unrewarded with several of these kids. Several of the 'untouchables'. As time went on and a trust grew, they responded to play therapy with me. I was able to help break down some of those walls they so carefully built. I learned several very valuable lessons. Heavenly Father loves ALL of His children. Even though terrible things may happen, He puts others in place to help start the healing. I learned that even though one person who has tried and tried to help, doesn't mean that the next person will not succeed. We must continue to try. If you do not see a change, it does not mean you did not make a difference. It may just mean you are preparing the way. Though my Practicum ended well before 'my kids' were done with therapy, I am hopeful that our breakthrough was just the start of a healing process for these sweet little ones who deserve more than what they had been given thus far.

In a nutshell, don't give up in your efforts for making a difference. We all make a difference. Just choose to make a good one and it will have lasting effects. One's that we sometimes can't even see yet.

Not Otherwise specified

My 4 yr old (just had a b-day) nephew was diagnosed this year as PDDNOS which is Pervasive Development Disorder-Not otherwise specified. What a diagnosis, eh?! I love the part about 'not otherwise specified'. The catch all phrase for we have no idea. Basically this diagnosis is the diagnosis given to a lot of children who have autism but are too young to be clearly diagnosed as autistic because some symptoms have not yet manifested themselves. Interesting fact is that everything you can find in how to help your child is paralleled to how to help an autistic child. One exception, your insurance will not pay for a lot of it because your child has not been specifically diagnosed as autistic. Bonus!!! Gotta love the health care system.

As our family has been trying to find ways to pull Braxton out and communicate with him, it has been an interesting journey. I applaud his parents and mother especially. I have seen a huge change in Braxie in the last year. Instead of the constantly frustrated little boy I once saw, I see a really loving little boy who tries so desperately to communicate and to be understood. His special school has helped SO much! Sure he definitely has his 'moments' or even 'days', but he is sooo much better. Perhaps it's simply that we understand better. I'm not sure. But things are better in so many ways.

What has been my part in all of this? Truly, I'm not sure. As most of you know, I have a huge love for children. It frustrated me that I couldn't communicate with my little Braxie. Then one day it hit me. Hello! I can communicate that TT (my nickname for the little ones) loves him! Love is something everyone can feel no matter what! So from that day forward, I've tried to make it a point to show Braxie my love. One day months later, I walked into Braxie's house and he exclaimed my name clearly "TT!" I was shocked and so was his mom since he doesn't talk much and when he does, it is not clear. He knew me, he knew my name, and he was VERY happy to see me. Tender mercies. This might not mean a lot to the next person, but it certainly meant a lot to me. A time later I was visiting and he was doing his own thing like he often does, then all of the sudden he came up to me and climbed into my lap and cuddled with me. Not only did he cuddle with me, but he cuddled with me for quite a period of time. As mentioned from my brother, he doesn't do that! Usually you get a very quick hug or cuddle that lasts for seconds or a minute, that is all. Again, tender mercies. Though we have our ups and downs with Sweet Braxton, he knows he is loved. He is a blessing from Heavenly Father and I am so grateful to have him in my life to teach me simple messages of how to love, Braxton Style.

On a slightly different note, it has definitely changed my perspective on screaming children in public places. Boy you just never know a persons circumstances. When my nephew is out of control in public places, it is amazing to see the looks people give. Looks that say "get a hold of your child" or "slap him til he's quiet" or things of that nature. It's amazing to me to think that if we were to just say something like "he's autistic" or something of the sort, automatically people are understanding or would be understanding. Why do we readily judge one another? I for one, find myself wishing the parents good luck, rather than thinking they aren't doing a good job when I pass a screaming child and a parent who is struggling with them. You just never know a persons circumstances.

Year of First's

I would say that surprising to some, I am a very fearful person. I fear of disappointing others. I fear of disappointing myself. I fear of so many silly things. Well, I've decided that I am TIRED of being afraid. This year I have made my New Years goal to 'Make this year a year of Firsts'. Ultimately I'd love to accomplish trying 100 firsts that I've really wanted to try but either never had the opportunity, never had the guts, or had some other reason to talk myself out of it. In this quest I have come to realize that I can do anything I put my mind to. Though I still get really nervous depending on the experience, and though sometimes I REALLY need to work my way up to accomplishing the end result, I know I can do it! :) And that is quite a feat for me to say!!! My journey will not end at the end of this year. I will continue to try new things. I will no longer shy away from things because I've not tried them before. In my journey the greatest thing has been to see that those I've come in contact with have also taken on this view. So many people I've come in contact with are now trying new things. They've even come out with a movie "The Bucket List" with the same kind of idea. It all comes down to the same concept, don't let life pass you by. Enjoy it and do the things you've always wanted to do. :)

People have been asking me what my list has consisted of...so here ya go!
1. Went to a gymnastics tournament
2. Went to the Rexburg Idaho temple open house (Beautiful)
3. Went to the Blue Man Group Concert (odd)
4. Went Salsa Dancing (apparently I have amazing hips. lol)
5. Went to an Off Broadway Show
6. Snow Shoeing
7. Attended a Ballet
8. Soldier Hollow Sledding (super FUN)
9. Baniff Film Festival
10. Learned how to do Family History
11. Tried Calamari aka squid (not my favorite)
12. Joined a book club
13. A concert in a suite box
14. Rock Climbing
15. Disney Princesses on Ice
16. Running Shoes
17. New York City
18. The subway
19. New York Temple Session
20. Tried Mango Salsa (actually liked it)
21. Festival of Colors
22. Dance dance revolution (totally terrible but had so much fun)
23. Ghost town- Calico
24. Drove IN California and also drove the whole way from Cali to Draper
25. Rock Concert
26. Tibetan food- Cafe Shambala
27. Charity Walk for Autism
28. Banbury Donuts (yummy!!)
29. Liberty Park
30. Fried Pickle (totally grossed me out)
31. Ruth's Diner in Emigration Canyon
32. Fish 'n' Chips
33. Spin/Cycling Class
34. Joined my first real Gym
35. Living Traditions Festival (FUN)
36. Hummus (totally gross)
37. Bratwurst (I actually liked it, surprisingly)
38. Salt Lake Library (Beautiful)
39. Sweet Tomatoes Restaurant (I don't do buffets but this was good)
40. Capitol Reef National Park
41. Grand Staircase- Escalante National Monument
42. Goblin Valley
43. Hiked Grandeur Peak in Millcreek Canyon
44. Porcupine Pub
45. Jarlsberg cheese
46. Yoga (I'm terrible)
47. Manti Temple Session
48. Kick Boxing (LOVE it)
49. Snapea Crisps
50. Ensign Peak
51. Eyebrows Waxed (actually didn't hurt)
52. Gelatto
53. Frozen Chocolate dipped banana (yuck, still hate banana's even with chocolate)
54. BJ's Restaurant
55. Newport Beach Temple Initiatory
56. Watched fireworks from the beach for the 4th of July
57. Tofu (not bad)
58. Full 24 hr fast
59. Timpanogos Hike
60. Sliding down Timp Glacier
61. Riding in a rebuilt vehicle
62. Off roading (a lot of fun especially going fast)
63. Played Rock Band
64. Jackson Hole
65. Whitewater Rafting (total fan!!)
66. Set off my own fireworks :)
67. Star gazing on the top of a car roof
68. New Book Release
69. Floating the Provo River
70. Demolition Derby
71. Made Cinnamon Rolls from scratch
72. Started a Blog (still not sure how I feel about it)
73. Elk
74. Zucchini Bread (mmm mmm good and super easy!)
75. Meatloaf (totally did it! Nasty to touch while preparing but I did it!! :)
76. Drove cross state through Wyoming (surprisingly longer than you'd think)
77. Vacationed to South Dakota (Beautiful)
78. Mt. Rushmore
79. Custer's State Park (cool wildlife and tons of huge Buffalo)
80. Swept off my feet (literally and it was like I weighed nothing, hm)
81. Red Boxed a Movie (seriously, I had never used Red Box before)
82. Stayed @ a Hotel on the Strip in Vegas (soooo much fun!!!)
83. Collective Soul Concert
84. Tried O'Douls Alcohol Free drink (sooo gross!!!)
85. Camp IN Zions (can't believe I've never camped there before. BEAUTIFUL)
86. Chris Cagle Concert (not into much country but it was entertaining)
87. Started a camp fire (in a pit of course but yay for me!)
88. Shooting (guns scare me but totally did it!!)
89. I sparked (did you know you can spark w/ wintermints? entertaining)
90. Cascade Springs (no not a detergent, yes a beautiful place in the mountains)
91. Pot Roast (not too shabby)
92. Go Kart Racing (sooo much fun!)
93. Moab- Arches National Park- Delicate Arch (amazingly beautiful)
94. Went to a Jazz Game in a Suite Box
95. Went to a Grizzles Hockey Game
96. Ate Korean Food
97. Played Football
98. Nielsen's Frozen Custard (holy crap that's FANTASTIC)
99. Milo drink (it was alright with sugar but not my favorite)
100. Piano lesson (I've been wanting to learn how to play the piano forever)

Lessons Learned

I've been thinking a lot about the past year, which has not been an easy year. It has been a year full of very difficult challenges for myself and for those I love. But as I have thought about this time, part of one of my favorite quotes came to my mind "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." The more I thought on this past year the more I realized we are not perfect. We came here imperfect. We came here to learn. We came here to struggle, to stubble, to learn from being imperfect. We are being molded by our Heavenly Father and this is how we are being shaped. If we were perfect, there would be no need for trials, for the stumbling around and molding. There would be no need for the dancing in the rain. And I don't know about you, but I choose to dance in the rain.