Body Language...Whaaaa???

I've always been fascinated by the idea that body language speaks the words we are too afraid of saying out loud. I recently went to a body language class. Granted, it was only an hour, but it was super interesting. I'm excited to delve into this a little further as time goes on.

Did you know that while you are speaking, the brain prepares and organizes 650 words per minute to say. At the last moment, our Conscience filters this down to 150 words. As a person speaks, there's an average of 500 words that are being held back in the Sub-Conscience. These words tend to show up in our body language. Hello...that's crazy! Kind of puts a different spin on 'filtering our words' and being proud of ourselves that we did, only to find out the other person probably got your unfiltered words through your body language. Unless you've mastered your body language skills. In which case, we need to talk.

57% of communication is based off of Gestures and/or Body Language.
36% of communication is based off of Tone of Voice.
7% of communication is based off of Words.

Those stats speak volumes.

There is 40 pieces of info in your conscience to every 20,000,000 in the sub-conscience. The Sub-Conscience tries to help you find answers. The Conscience filters based off of what is familiar to you. Like standing with your arms crossed and putting off the impression that you don't want to be approached. This is why getting rid of a mannerisms or behaviors is difficult. We default to what is familiar. And crossing our arms feels comfortable and familiar. But if we keep introducing new behavior, our conscience will no longer filter out the new behavior that once was unfamiliar. The theory is that poor body language can be changed into good body language that helps us express ourselves.

Some things I learned:
~Standing on one leg gives off the impression that you are off balance.
~Feet pointing in different directions gives off the impression that you are unclear or indecisive.
~Hands touching gives off the impression that you are not open, not confident.
~Looking Up and to the Right means upcoming, creative, images, artistic
~Looking Up and to the Left means history, linear, facts, numbers.
~Looking Up and skyward means look outside of self, open for direction, trust, and spiritual.
~Looking Down and at heart means personal, look within self, emotional, internal.
~Looking Side to Side means internal voice, authoritative voices, other's opinions, following directions.

My Story Doesn't End here...

Have you ever thought of parenthood? Of the role of parent? Of how we as a parent, have the responsibility to teach our children and enable them to become independent adults? Individuals who are capable of learning from our experiences and making decisions? Choice and accountability is very key in this life.

 Something that was recently brought to my attention, that I have never thought about before (in this way) is that Heavenly Father is just that and doing just that. He is our Father and parent. He is teaching us, His children, to become independent beings who are capable of learning and making decisions. He is teaching us so that we can 'grow up' and 'leave the house' so to speak. So that when we become parents, we will have been prepared with the correct tools to be parents ourselves one day. He is teaching us to be knowledgeable and self sufficient. The thing is, when we talk with our Father and ask Him questions, doesn't it make sense that He is going to push us? Help us so the lesson is learned and learned well? He wants us to succeed. Sometimes, when we are not getting answers to our prayers so quickly, perhaps it is because we already know the answer and perhaps Heavenly Father is testing us to see if we remember the answer, can find the answer, or some variation of the above. There is always a lesson to be learned. Or perhaps when we keep asking the same question, we are not asking the correct question. Perhaps there is a better question to be asked.

 Here's the thing. We sometimes act like Heavenly Father is going to stop writing our story in the middle of our book. That's not how it works. So we need to quit acting like we are going to stop reading our own book before it ends! It's a suspenseful one, a dramatic one, a sad one, a happy one and a story worth seeing through to the end. For goodness sake, we have the lead role after all. My point? Heavenly Father loves us. Yes, some of our stories might be rocky at times. So? That does not mean the story ends. Yes, some of us have made decisions that have taken us on paths that are a bit of a longer hike than necessary (compared to others). But that doesn't mean your story ends. Nor does it mean you chose wrong. It means you chose a path, you learned from it (hopefully), and you are ultimately stronger for it. Same goes for people who chose a shorter path. Hopefully we are all learning from our journey. And enjoying our Story as it plays out.

 I was once asked what my biggest regret was. And I could honestly say at the time that I had no regrets! This is not to say that I have had no trials, embarrassing moments, or things that I blushed over. Because I do and I did! But what I meant was that if I didn't experience all of the hard things, the life molding/defining things.. I wouldn't be the person I am today. And I like who I am. Having said that, within the last year I experienced something that has had me wondering about my feelings on 'regret'. Which has made this topic of 'my story' perfect to reflect on. I can now say that I have been faced with an experience that I believe will cause me regret for the rest of my life. And yet as I reflect, I would never change it. Someone who I believe I will always care for, helped me realize that a past boyfriend of mine had stripped me of my self worth for a time. This man does not know he did this for me. Helped me. I was broken at the time. But as he entered into my life, I quickly saw what needed to be done. I healed. I felt. I even got tongue tied around him (eek)! Maybe too late for him (I hope not). Regret? For him, yes I have regret. Timing is an interesting thing. But if I were to have changed this experience so that I didn't regret the outcome with this man, Would I have found my self worth again? I honestly don't know. Timing. I have learned so much in the last year. I am so grateful. Regret? Yes, but so much gratitude as well. I KNOW Heavenly Father loves me. Heavenly Father is not done with my story. My story doesn't end here.

Hot, Cold, or Just Right?

A few weeks ago, my Stake President spoke to us. I really have to say, I always enjoy when he speaks to us. This time, he spoke about how it is to be a 'single' in a 'family oriented gospel'. The fact of the matter is, we are here to be a 'family'. Regardless of whether we are in our own family situation or not. He spoke of the Goldie Locks and the Three Bears Analogy. We as 'singles' try porridge and it's either too hot, too cold, or just right. He likened this to dating. Too Hot is when we might be obsessive in the relationship, or think too much about another person, etc. It's just too much, over kill if you will. Too Cold is when we might be aloof, or just content to date multiple people. Or maybe just want to travel with friends. Non committal. Then there is just right. Which is where we want to be. The question is, where do we fall in relationships. Are we too hot, too cold, or just right? Our goal should be to strive to be in the 'just right' area.

Power in a Name

You know, I've heard "there is power in a name" before. But I guess I really haven't given it much thought until recently. As children, we are given a name and a blessing. We are identified by our name. When our name is used, we feel a connection. A binding/obligation. A sense of being. I really truly believe there IS power in a name. I also believe that we as human beings have an innate sense of needing to identify with one another. Of connecting. Of understanding and being understood.

Having said all of that, think about what all of that means when we talk badly about one another. The kind of negative power or energy we are pummeling one another with when we are gossiping, talking badly, or complaining about each other. Have you ever walked into a room and felt a bad vibe or just KNEW someone was talking about you? It doesn't feel good.

Now think about what kind of person you WANT to be? I'd venture to say it is a happy person. Right? Someone with whom others feel comfortable around and know you do not participate in such negativity. Well, if we all simply remembered the power in a name and Viewed it sacredly, I believe we would be one step closer to our goal. We are, after all, all brothers and sister who should fight for one another to the end. We are family.

I'm Ba-ack..

Well, I suppose my very long hiatus has come to an end, thanks Jake. I've actually been meaning to get back to my posting. To share my thoughts and well, see if I have any followers any more. Ha. Does anyone Blog anymore? I suppose blogging isn't really so much for the reader, as it is for the writer. What a nice way to put thought into word. To solidify ones frame of mind and take flight in a completely different way, other than physically of course.

I look forward to sharing with you. Whoever you may be. :)

I recently went to a seminar with Jack Canfield. It was a great way to remind me of a few key things.

1) When we say I "can't" do something, what are we really saying? Are there really very many things we "can't" do? Think about this. Next time you use the word can't, think about whether you really cannot do it or is there really a more 'true' word that could replace the word can't. There are very few things we cannot do. Or perhaps our words need more communication in order to make a truer statement. Jack and I would both venture to say that instead of "can't" the truer word is "won't". Most times when we say we can't do something, really we mean we won't do it. For example, "I can't say that." Really? When have you known anyone not to be able to articulate something? What they really mean, is that they won't say that specific something, because of xy and z. Let's try a different example. "I can't swing dance." What I really mean is "I've never taken a swing dancing class so I won't swing dance until I do." Or some variation of that. The second sentence is more correct because we all have the capability within us. This knowledge is so empowering. It is on us to do something about our situation. No more can'ts. I most certainly am going to try to eliminate this word from my vocabulary. It is difficult, but I know it can be done.

2) Act as if whatever happens to you, has happened because you CREATED it. I am not talking about being egotistical. I am not talking about being self-centered. What I am talking about is not being a victim. It is so easy to fall into the poor me syndrome. It is easy to fall into the negativity of situations around you. But if you believe that all that happens to you has happened because of something you did, one of two things will happen. If something not so great happens, you will be propelled to do something differently to try for a better outcome. If something great is happening, you will continue to strive for that good outcome. The idea is stop doing what isn't working and keep doing what is. But remember, you are not a victim. This is essential too. Positive thinking will get you everywhere. "If it is meant to be, it is up to me!" :)

Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward dynamic

"With a growing number of 30-something Singles in the Church, many areas are responding by having specific Midsingles activities (and wards) to better meet the needs of 30-something Midsingles. Currently, over 50% of singles who were once active at age 30 in a YSA Ward go inactive in the Church by the time they turn 34, if there’s not an established Midsingles Program/activities and/or ward in their area. In each stake on the stake rolls there are , on average, 250-600 30-something Midsingles. Yet often only a handful or dozen 30-something Midsingles are active, many times sitting alone in a family ward.

So they try to attend an all-age Single Adult 31+ activity or dance, and see no one in their age range in attendance, instead seeing primarily people who could be their parents or grandparents attend. Currently in many areas, less than 5% of active 30-something Midsingles attend all-age 31+ Single Adult activities.

As a result, many 30-something Midsingles feel kicked to the curb after leaving the YSA Ward and feel the Church has no place for them. To better reach out to 30-something Midsingles and ensure YSAs stay active in the church after they turn 31, some stakes, under approval of their local Area Seventy, have created a Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward or Midsingles Magnet Ward.

The first such Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward was created in Huntington Beach, California, the Huntington Beach 1st Ward Midsingles, in January 2004. There are now 15-20 such wards across the country."

My cousin participated in the first Mixed Midsingles/Family Ward in Huntington Beach. He met his wife there. I spoke with them about it. They actually really liked it. I'd be really curious to see if they move towards this model throughout the country. Being that I fall in this category, I'm not sure that I'd mind so much. It would be definitely interesting to see what kind of a dynamic it would play in the Utah scene. Considering that we have a HUGE singles scene here. All I know is that I have definitely felt the whole 'not feeling like I belong anywhere' vibe. It's not fun. I never thought I'd be here at this stage in my life. That's for sure. But I have learned so much and done so much during these years where I would have otherwise been married. I can't begrudge the learning and growth.

Top 10 from Huntington Bishop

2 Months ago I attended a Mid-Singles Conference in California. My assessment? It was fun. That Sunday the Bishop there spoke to us (Bishop Lang) and to say he was fantastic would put it mildly. I can see why the singles really love him. He says things how they are but also has an edge of love and understanding. It's definitely sad that he got released shortly after this conference. I guess he's earned it after many years of service. Anyway, they posted his talk online and I wanted to share the MIDSINGLES TOP TEN LIST he gave. Unfortunately he did not get to the ladies portion, but the gentleman's what pretty great. So here it is...in all it's glory. :) I really wish you could hear his tone of voice (hilarious and yet hit home)..

Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Not Married Yet

For the Men:

Number 10 – I haven’t met a Spiritual Angelina Jolie look alike with a trust fund…YET

Advice: when you get home tonight take your shirt off, sit on the bed, and look in the mirror. Then realize that the what women see. Do they ask "Show me your bank statement".

Number 9 – Married life will most likely cut into my World of Warcraft time…

Advice: GO outside, GO to the Temple, Do your Home teaching, and GO out on Dates, Serve others.

Number 8 – I can hardly support myself; plus I’m still not sure what I’m going to be when I grow up….

Advice: “A rolling stone gathers no Moss” do what you know and know what you do… WORK

Number 7 – My One True Love is married to a dentist, living in Orem, and has 2.3 children…

Advice: Move on, get a life; realize she’s not coming back… forget yourself…

Number 6 – I have already been married, as soon as the reception was over she turned into the Wicked Witch of the West… Now I’m scared … it will take an Act of Congress before I get married again…

Advice: there are 3 parts of the sealing ceremony… If you didn’t break yours that’s the best you can do… 2nd Article of Faith: We believe that men will be punished for their own sins and not for Adams transgression…

Number 5 – None of the women I’m interested in will date with me…

Advice: when you get home tonight take your shirt off, sit on the bed, and look in the mirror…

Number 4 – I will never be able to have a successful marriage. I have accumulated some baggage… I’ve made mistakes that leave me feeling unworthy… I have developed a dark habit…

Advice: John 8…

Number 3 – My parents are divorced. It scared me. I’m stuck in between them. I don’t ever want my children to go thru what I have…

Advice: So what? If your dad jumps off a bridge does that mean you have to do it also??? 2nd Article of Faith.

Number 2 – My siblings are married and struggle… Their kids are brats… They have financial trouble… Every time they argue my sister calls me and gives me way too much information…

Advice: you’re not your sibling, there is absolutely no reason that you have to repeat anything your sibling does… or doesn’t do… watch and learn.

The Number One reason I’m not married yet is: I don’t want to make a mistake… I’m scared… I wonder if it’s my lot in life to be single…

Advice: Maybe it is your lot in life… WRONG. You can do it… who wants you to be happy? And who wants you to be single?… President James E. Faust – said “… don’t take too much counsel from your fears…”

Top Ten Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Give Up and /or What To Do About It …

For the Men:

Number 10 – I just haven’t met Mrs. Right yet… Maybe she’s here (at the HB Midsingles Conference)…. Will the real Mrs. Right please raise your hand…

Advice: Men, these women have non-member men asking them out constantly… but they WANT a righteous Priesthood holder; don’t under estimate yourselves… Don’t underestimate Mrs. Right here…

Number 9 – The longer I’m single the weirder I’m getting…

Advice: self explanatory… You guys are like beautiful Ferraris’ driving around stuck in 2nd gear… when you become a family it’s like sliding that puppy into 5th gear and fulfilling your potential… everything becomes a purpose in raising your family…

Number 8 – I don’t feel worthy… I’m discouraged…

Advice: Moses 1:39 for behold this is my work and my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of YOU…

Number 7 – You need to propagate your seed…

Advice: Abrahamic covenant…see Addendum below

Number 6 – You hold the Priesthood of God… (Most of you) You have been ordained and for ordained to be a Husband and father and to become like our Heavenly Father…

Advice: D&C 84:34-41 Oath and Covenant of The Priesthood…

Number 5 – Nothing worthwhile is easy… This life is a test…

Advice: When Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden they were commanded to earn their sustenance by working 6 days a week, by the sweat of their face shalt they eat their bread… Genesis 3:16-19

Number 4 – True Joy comes from giving… When we become a Family… We become like our Heavenly Father and his Son…

Advice: There are 3 phases to Mans life … Phase 1… we believe in Santa Claus… Phase 2 we don’t… Phase 3 ….You are Santa Claus… Phase 4 …you look like Santa Claus… (When you get home tonight take your shirt off, sit on the bed, and look in the mirror…)

Number 3 – Nothing you ever do will please your Heavenly Father, Savior, Earthly Parents, Future In laws, future spouse and most importantly yourself… than becoming a Family…

Advice: Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh…”

Number 2 – It’s not good for man to be alone… The first conversation God and the Savior had regarding us after they had created Adam was… “Is it good for man to be alone? NOPE.”

The Number One reason is… We are exalted as Families… Moses 1:39… D&C 132: 19 The new and everlasting covenant…

Addendum – Abrahamic Covenant

Abraham received the gospel and was ordained a high priest (D&C 84:14; Abraham 1:2). He later entered into celestial marriage, which is the covenant of exaltation (D&C 131:1-4; 132:19, 29). In connection with the covenants he made, he received great promises from the Lord concerning his family. Among these promises were the following:

His posterity would be numerous
His seed or descendants would receive the gospel and bear the priesthood.
Through the ministry of his seed “all the families of the earth would be blessed, even with the blessings of the Gospel, which are the blessings of salvation, even of life eternal.”
Together, all the covenants and promises that Abraham received from the Lord are called the Abrahamic covenant, even if he or she is not a literal descendant of Abraham.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, you are a child of the covenant. You have received the everlasting gospel and inherited the same promises given to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You have the right to the blessings of the priesthood and to eternal life, according to your faithfulness in receiving the ordinances of salvation and keeping the associated covenants. Nations of the earth will be blessed by your efforts and the labors of your posterity.

God's Angel

Dear Me,

You have had a rough go the past several months. As you are well aware. I would even venture to say you have been going through your own personal hell of sorts. You have always known one thing to be true. It has become your foundation. So when things become hard, that foundation has kept your feet steady. Even while all else seems to rock, you at least had your feet in a steady place. A place that provided comfort while all else felt unsure and sometimes scary. Well the past several months the foundation failed for the first time. The foundation crumbled in a sense.

I would be lying if I did not admit that I was upset about it. I felt so many strong emotions. I was so angry. Ok, well angry for me since I don't get angry very easily. But still, an emotion that always surprises me. I felt so betrayed, beaten down, unloved, overwhelmed, and so many many more things. I can honestly say that I do not think it is healthy for a person to feel such negative emotions all at once. But alas, I was feeling them all and all at the time. I had no desire to be near friends because I couldn't even 'pretend' to be happy. Finally I realized what emotion outweighed them all. I had completely been striped of all hope. Nothing anyone said or did touched my heart. I did not believe anything applied to me anymore. I was exempt from happiness. It was horrible.

To top my torment, I realized I allowed it. I realized I had part in the deterioration of sorts. But life as I had once known it was no more. And trials came as they always do. And without a strong foundation to help absorb the trials, just ended up rocking my very fragile being all the more.

Here's what I learned:

1) Though I was at my lowest, I could not deny the truthfulness of the Gospel. Repeatedly I found myself in conversations with people I knew who tried to get me to talk badly about the church or to discount one or more of the teachings. I found myself in heated arguments with those friends. Though I was struggling, I KNEW the gospel was true and I could not let friends take advantage of my current situation. I have never and could never doubt the Truthfulness of the Gospel. Though at the time, I found it very ironic that me, of all people, would be the one to be defending these things. I knew I could not allow such talk to occur. I knew that though we all struggle (and though some struggle harder at moments then others), we all knew better than allowing such talk. And though I still struggled on, in the back of my mind..that stand meant something huge.

2) Though I had given up on myself and though I felt like I was given up on, I was not. God sent me Angels in friends. I had a few friends who were always there for me. But one in particular I feel like he sent me. She is a new friend to me and she challenged me to try something with goals. This is all very vague. But for now, all I can say is that it has given me my Hope back. I'm not 100% Tandy yet, but I'm on the road. And to me, that has made all the difference.

Gratefully Yours,

Tandy

For Too Long.. And then There was Institute

For too long, I have been drowning out my thoughts in my loud music, TV, movies, etc. I'm not sure if it's because I just don't want to come to terms with where my thoughts will lead me, or if it's because there's a sense of numbness. Either way, I've appreciated the numbness. I've needed the numbness.

What a confession. Right? Well, it's true. And tonight, after what feels like a very long time, I felt something. I'm not saying it was earth shattering. But I'm hoping, in time, it will continue to sink in. But I felt like maybe I saw a spark in the distance of a very very dark night. And though that spark fizzled out quickly, I still remember a little bit of what I saw. I don't know how long it will stay with me. But maybe, just maybe it will last me til the next spark happens.

"Stop and say, I will give you my very best" -Dr Taylor Hartman. I guess, sometimes all it takes is having someone by your side, helping you push through to the very end.

Looking Up

One day, I was driving my car and I noticed a middle aged woman looking up. There was just something about the way she was looking up into the sky. Next thing I knew, I looked up in the general direction she was looking. I couldn't see anything but blue sky. I glanced back at the woman. She was still mesmerized. I then noted that I was passing an assisted living facility. I'm not sure of this woman's situation, the things I've just stated above are only my observations of a brief few seconds. But here is a few thoughts that came to my mind. Sometimes, it isn't until we haven't had the blessing or opportunity to see something or experience something.. that we realize how grateful we are for those things when they are back in our lives. This woman may have been experiencing her first outdoors walk in a long time. She may have been simply amazed at how blue the sky appeared to her that day after being cooped up indoors for a time. Who knows. But what I do know is this, it made me think. How often do I stop to look up? How often do I just stop to enjoy the greatness around me. We are truly blessed to be living in a place with so much beauty around us. I am grateful that the sky is blue. I am grateful that I have eyes that see that color. I am grateful for things and people who help me remember.

Hands carry the Fingerprints that we Leave behind

"I'll just run in quickly to see if they have what I need and slip out just as quickly. I'm late, I'm late." I thought to myself.

As the door opened, to my surprise I was greeted by my mom (the babysitter for the evening) and all the munchkins. It took all of 5 seconds for me to find out that they did not have what I needed. But it took all of 2 seconds for my munchkins to slip their little hands into mine. Pressing ever so slightly, while playing with my fingertips with their other hands. Something completely unconsciously done, but oh so tender and sweet. What a simple act that spoke volumes to me. Unfortunately, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think "Dang my plans tonight! I would LOVE to play with my kidlets instead. But my car is running, and I am late." So with lots of loves left, I was on my way.

But here's the clincher. Though it is days later, I still feel their little hands in mine. I still feel their little fingers playing with mine. It is moments like these, that I treasure. And if I treasure these moments, I KNOW my little munchkins do too. I love taking the time and getting to know them, letting them get to know me. Children crave to tell us stories, they crave to express their love to us, they crave to leave their little fingerprints in this world. I just wonder sometimes if we, the adults, ever care to think back on those sweet little fingerprints and how much they really do leave behind such a wonderful imprint in our lives. Scary thing is, it goes both ways. We leave the same prints behind too. Only our little ones are often times much better at taking care to see them and remember them. I hope our fingerprints are ones that leave behind goodness and love. What kind of fingerprints are you leaving behind?

Glimpses

As a little girl, I always felt like I was on the wrong side of the glass. My sister was on one side with all the flashing lights and balloons and fun things, and I was on the other side with the left overs. As I got older, I realized that what I saw was nothing but false glamor. It wasn't all that it seemed. But the one thing that I was correct with, was that I was on one side of the glass, and my sister has always been on the other. Every now and then the glass alters and I'm able to glimpse her as if I'm almost on that same side, but the next thing I know is that darn glass is there again. Preventing us from really seeing one anothers perspectives for very long.

Here's the thing that I realized tonight. I am so grateful for the glimpses. I would much rather have them, than not. Though she and I are most definitely very different in most ways, we are similar in several. I am grateful for those glimpses in time when she and I can come together and have real conversations. One's that are based on truth and sincerity. I am grateful for those glimpses that allow for the glass to move enough that I see my sister. No longer parted by obstacles, but really see her and she see's me. I am grateful for glimpses like tonight.

In a Child's Eyes

As a little girl, I grew up watching my older sister. She was a popular, blonde, beauty. In my eyes, she had it all.

It's amazing how life's experiences change us. How if we allow them, our experiences can either affect us for good or affect us in a damaging and unpredictable way. I don't think any one person chooses to take life experiences badly. But I truly believe we must actively make a decision to take all experiences in life and learn from them. Grow from them. The hard truth is this, we ALL experience hardships. We all have our ups and downs. But the key here is that we ALL do. No one is a victim here. We are all blessed with opportunities. The question is, are we taking those opportunities and learning from them?

As I walked into the hospital room of the ICU, I didn't know what to expect. My heart was guarded. My feelings in check. What would I see? I didn't know. This wasn't the first time I had gone to the hospital to see her. But it was certainly the first time for this reason. I felt wrong. I felt like I wasn't the right person to be there. Maybe I shouldn't have been chosen. Maybe I should let my brother handle it. As I stepped into her room, she weakly looked up at me and smiled. It was then that I was once again her baby sister. I was once again the little girl at my beautiful sisters feet, sitting with her and holding her hand. Trying to understand. You see, my sister tried to take her life last week.

Since only close friends and family read my blog now, I feel this is a safe place. I almost don't even know how to express my feelings on this experience. No, this is not something that is 'public' knowledge. However, my family could really use the prayers right now. And I truly believe there is a great power in 'specific' prayers. I would ask that you all pray for her. She needs all the prayers she can get. I thank you in advance.

Much love.

A Different 'Gardening' Perspective

As I was weeding my garden the other day, a few things happened. For one, my thoughts wouldn't shut off. I must preface this by saying that I loath weeding. Truly. I dislike all aspects of it. I hate that when I do it, my allergies kick in to high gear and then I'm sniffling, itchy, and surrounded by creepy, crawly things that I've accidentally unearthed while pulling out the unwanted weeds. So I say again, I DISLIKE WEEDING. There, I think I've made my point. ;)

Anyway, I rarely have the time to weed and lets face it..it's not really on my list of things to do when I do have a spare minute. Before I know it, I have tree weeds growing in my planters. It's pretty bad. Well, the other day I had a little bit of spare time that I thought I should weed. Mistake #1 was not having weeding gloves. My weeds apparently have swords growing out of them. Mistake #2 was not having tools to help me dig up the flat weeds that just spread out rather than up. Mistake #3 was allowing them to grow so crazy that it is now a huge job to try to clean up. All of these mistakes were coming to mind as I was pulling the weeds (carefully) and adding them to a pile to be thrown away.

I tried tackling a bundle of my tree weeds at the same time. Let's not waste time, right? They would not budge. I gave it my all, determined to have them gone. Still, no budge. I was not going to give up. So I took one tree weed and pulled. Up it came. I took another tree weed, and up it came. So amazing. My thoughts wondered to how SO like life this is. We all have 'things' in our lives.. 'weeds' if you will. Whether we like it or not, sometimes they just appear out of no where (or so it seems) and muck up our lives. They will not just go away by ignoring them. We must pluck them out of the ground and toss them away. And often times, it is not as easy as grabbing all of these undesirable things at once and getting rid of them. But rather, we must take them one by one and take care of it. But if we take those undesirables one by one, we find that they usually come up. Some easier than others, but they come up none the less. Root and all, so we can toss them aside and get rid of them. But we need to be willing to put in the time. Ideally, we would do this on a regular basis so that we are not overwhelmed. But oh how satisfying it is to know we can take care of the undesirables and have them gone and out of our 'gardens'. :)

Again, moving on with my weeding experience. As I was in my garden and seeing all sorts of different kinds of weeds populating my garden. I must stay that I try to be VERY aware of the creepy crawlies around me. I cannot be near anything that might surprise me. Hence the being aware part. So let's just say, if ever I become a rich person, a gardener just might bring me peace of mind. haha. Oh sorry, I digress. Anyway, as I was making a mental note of my surroundings, I noted 2 honey bee's!!!! Yes, you read that correctly!!! They were sucking from a few of my sparse flowers. :) Yay!!! And for anyone who has been reading up on honey bee's, you may have heard that the prediction is that they are going extincted. I'm not sure how they are basing this prediction because I'm not one who has read up on this, but I've heard this over and over. So honey bee's in my garden equals happiness in my heart as long as their stingers stay away from me. :) Well as I'm pulling away, I note that the bee's start to multiply and I now have 4 bee's!!! And then it goes up to 8 bee's!!! Holy cow! And here's the kicker, they aren't just going to my flowers, but they are going to the weeds that have flowers on them. That's interesting. So naturally I had to stop weeding. I couldn't take away their tasty treat. So there you have it. My logic for not pulling the weeds with flowers on them. I couldn't disrupt the harvest the bee's were having. I simply couldn't. Ok and plus my hands were raw (I had a lot of weeds and still do).

But I am determined. I will just have to find a time that is not harvest time. Oh yeah, and I need to get to the store and get me some gloves/tools to help finish the job in order to spare my poor hands :)


P.S. I did look up Bee Extinction to see if it is even true. Apparently Honey Bee's are exotic to North America. The 'wild' honey bee seems to be doing fine. The problem is with the 'domesticated' honey bee colonies which are experiencing colony collapse disorder. Sad. But it's good to know so now I don't feel so bad about pulling my weed flowers. :) They will just move on to another flower. I guess I was just hoping my flowers were special or something. hahaha

Practice Makes Perfect

Many may wonder why I have gone with my chosen blog title. Call it what you want, but I simply call it my reminder. I truly believe it. Life IS about learning to dance in the rain. We DO either decide to stand still, never changing and simply getting wet for no good reason other than to be miserable in that moment. OR, we decide to MOVE, and learn from the situation what we will. Movement is key! Dance! Have fun with life. And when it throws thunder clouds, learn from it what you may. There is ALWAYS something to be learned.

So why the blog title? Well, it's my motto in life. Do I forget it sometimes? Well, hello! I AM only human. But I certainly try to remember it and I think most times I do ok. Perhaps practice makes perfect. ;) HA.

Aware

I suppose one thing you could say I've been doing lately, is trying to become more aware. Aware of myself. Aware of those around me. Aware of my Father in Heaven. And in this journey, the one thing that has trumped all others, is HE is aware of ME. I suppose when we are trying to be more spiritually grounded and in search for good things, we are blessed and able to bless the lives of others.

The last week I have been overwhelmed by such wonderful experiences. I love that life is such a learning experience. In the last week I've received 4 notes from friends. I've been overwhelmed by my experiences with each friend. All I can say, is that I am truly blessed to know each friend. I'm blessed to brush shoulders with them. It is amazing to me that these 'notes' would come at a time when i would be questioning myself and perhaps whether I could be doing better. Boy our Father in Heaven knows when to put people in our lives and when to motivate people in our lives. I am truly grateful for the lessons learned. And yes, I feel I am aware more and more every day.

Please and Thank You!

For those of you who know me well, you know that I invest A LOT of hopefully 'quality' time with my nieces and nephews. It's important to me. Pretty much children are my life. Anyway, while I spend that time with them... there are just things that they know I WILL allow and things they know i WILL NOT allow. Please's and Thank you's are a must. You may be scratching your head right now and thinking, this girl is crazy. The 'please' and 'thank yous' will come and kids will be kids. But I'm a firm believer in teaching children kindness. A kind child is a kind adult. Who's gonna complain about having too many kind adults? Seriously!

Exhibit A. I was getting lunch today. Cafe Rio. I put in my order and couldn't help but note the behavior behind me. This woman was on her phone the entire time. First of all she acted as if she was inconvenience by having to give her order (I'm sorry that the Cafe Rio staff are not mind readers), and then when it came to payment she actually threw her credit card across the counter top at the woman. No she didn't place it ON the counter (which is only slightly better). She tossed it, it slid across the counter and I thought for a second that it would go all the way off and onto the floor. I thought to myself...who does that?! Sadly....I think a lot of people do. In my reflection over this...I was grateful to note that I had used my pleases and thank yous. My mother taught me well. Thank you mom!

So why do I stress pleases and thank yous with the little ones? Because we shouldn't live in a world where behavior like the kind that I witnessed today is acceptable. We shouldn't live in a world where WE contribute to that kind of behavior. Because as soon as we do...what does that really mean? If we stop saying it, does that mean we stop feeling it? Does that mean we actually stop feeling thankful? I hope not. Because there is much to be grateful for. :)

Unfinished Symphony

I have the amazing privilege of knowing this amazing person. Although she does not see HER potential...she cannot fool me. :) I see it. Yes I do. :)And others see it too. This friend and I share a liking for this one movie. Kind of a random movie but the name alone speaks volumes. A mirror has two faces. Guess what? We may see one image in that mirror, but others see something completely different. Often times we are our harshest critic. We pick out what we are lacking and all the negatives we see. But others see all the good things that radiates from us. It's up to us to start seeing both sides of that mirror. :)


I read this poem today...Unfinished Symphony by Laurence Overmire

We are told somehow
Creation happened a
Long, long, time ago

But look around you
Each day brings
Things not seen or heard before

With each revolution of moon and star
The Creator is constantly
Sculpting new life out of the dust

New heavens to behold

Our world is a dream
Spinning on the potters wheel
Ever wondrous, sometimes frightening

But always, in process
Of becoming
More.

Friend, I know life is so unbelievably hard right now. Life has thrown you curve ball after curve ball. You are constantly battling. I am often times at a loss for words. But I know this. I love you. I am here for you when you need. And YOU are here for a reason. Though we do not understand all things, I know you have purpose. You have been such a strong example of love, strength, hope, and endurance to me. You, my friend, are an unfinished symphony, in process of becoming more. Hold on to your faith. Hold on to your hope. I love you always.

Your Super Powers have no Power Over Me! :)

#1. I don't care who you are, when a child hugs you out of pure excitement of seeing you...it melts away any bad day.
#2. Don't egg on you brothers. I don't care how much younger they are, they WILL get you.
#3. Your super powers have no power over ME!!! muuhahaha
#4. "Got it" has apparently stuck in my kiddies vocab.

To some, this list may just be a bunch of randomness. Rightly so. To others, this list might just be a teaser for what is to come. :) Put your seat belts on ladies and gents cause allow me to take you on my fun filled evening with a few of my kidlets.

My mother is babysitting the kidlets and I decided that I'd pop on over and see them. No joke, I barely get out of my car and I'm surrounded by the wee-ones. They are hugging, kissing, and squealing as if they haven't seen me in AGES. When in reality I just saw them two days ago. Sigh. I don't care who you are, when a child hugs you out of pure excitement of seeing you, it melts away any bad day. If that's not magic, I don't know what is. :)

So as I'm playing with the kids (hello, what else would I be doing?), I decided that I'd let them play on the tramp while I just laughed at them. My oldest nephew started teasing his younger brothers. Ya know, the kind where he bets them they can't take him down. Well as it turns out. They COULDN'T take him down. So he got a little overly confident. He started telling them that they couldn't even get his shorts!! Oh, that did it! Ethan was determined!! Even though he's 4 and Bray is 11 didn't stop his efforts. He tried and tried. I laughed and laughed. So many close calls. Then all of the sudden E got a hold of Brays shorts! E gripped 'em good and the next thing I know is Ry-ry tag teamed him and grabbed the front part of his shorts while tripping Bray. Bray was down for the count and his shorts were completely OFF his body!!! I was rolling. Not just cause of that but because at the same exact moment, a jogger went by. Hahaha. Just goes to show, don't egg your brothers on. I don't care how much younger they are, they WILL get you!! :)

Side note, if you have a child that is nervous to go on the tramp. One thing I've found that helps with my nephews is that I jump with them and take hold of their armpits. Holding them is too dangerous. However, if you face them out and you have a hold of their armpits while their feet are still on the tramp, they still have the feel of jumping as high as you do but they won't fall because you have ahold of them. They feel secure and yet they feel like they are also doing part of the work (when really you are). Plus it saves your back. :)

Ok, so after the pantsing incident, the kids started playing superhero on the tramp and around the tramp. I sat in a chair by the tramp and was the tickle chamber should any one accidentally come close enough to ensnare. Which ironically happened ALOT. Hm. My niece found herself in my tickle chamber and she tried to freeze me (her superhero power) and of course, superhero powers do not work on the tickle chamber! Hello!!! Needless to say, the super hero's found themselves needing to resort to other methods to try to escape besides their powers. It did not stop them from trying EVERY time to use their powers. I merely had to tell them that their super powers do not work on ME! Muuhahahaha.

Lastly, my nephews (one in particular) have a very hard time listening. I try many ways to make sure they are listening, but it's always amusing to learn which 'method' you are using the most often lately. As I was putting this particular kidlet to bed, he was asking me all sorts of questions. I didn't want his mind going over all the information right before bed. So I simply told him that Nana (my mom) was going to be here for a few days and he should just have fun playing with her while she's here. Before I could even check to see if he was listening he said "Got it'. hahaha. It was then that I realized that lately my way of checking to see if he's with me is by asking him "Got it?" and he replys "Got it". hahaha.

What a fun night. I can always count on my kidlets. :)

No Power Over Us

I wasn't able to hear Elder Bednar's CES fireside on Sunday so I listened to it tonight. Wow! It was fantastic. If you haven't had a chance to hear it, I'd encourage you to give it a listen.

One thing he said that I felt was so strong is a quote he gave by Joseph Smith, "The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man. And when cast out by the Savior, he asked to go into the herd of Swine, showing that he would prefered a swine's body to having none. All beings who have bodies, have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power."

Wow on so many levels. I guess I've never thought of things in quite these terms before. I feel so blessed to be reminded that Satan doesn't have any power over us unless we permit him.

http://www.lds.org/move/index.html?type=ces&event=1&lang=english#