My Version of a Christmas Letter...

(Mute my playlist so you can hear the slideshow...) :)

Holiday Cheer

I suppose I'm making a confession. I'm really struggling to find the Christmas Spirit this year. I guess I can see the whole ba-humbug part of things. Sad to say it, but true. Today was the first day that I put on Christmas music and the only reason I did it was because I realized I was depriving the guys at work. I even shut it off for a little bit, telling them "I needed a break". What's that about? Normally I can't get enough of my Christmas Music and I'm sad to have to put the music away. I've not really participated in anything too Christmasy and I shy away from anything having to do with the holiday. I have no desire to go see the lights and I have no desire to do any of the things I absolutely LOVE about Christmas. Alright, who stole Christmas Tandy?! I'm saddened by this mood and wish I could snap out of it. Before I know it, Christmas is going to be over and I'm going to have missed it all. Sigh. Someone knock the jingle bells into me...will ya?!

Even though I am in this mood, I do love to see everyone else enjoying this season. After all, I do love the reason for this season. :) I hope you all are having a Merry Christmas!!!

Say Waaaaa???!!!

I can't believe my kidlet is 12 years old today!!!! I still remember when the sweet little rugrat entered into my life. Boy it didn't take long for him to steal my heart along with the heart of the rest of the family. What a sweetheart my man is. :) He's such a great big brother and such a good example. Yesterday, while spending time with the family during our Thanksgiving festivities, rather than go play with the other kids, he sat with us 'grown ups' and snuggled with me. We had a little photo shoot of fun. Boy I just love my kid. He makes me smile and we sure do have fun together. Thanks Bray Conner, for being such a wonderful young man. I'm so proud of you!

Love ya!

(The winning scale on our pics was totally decided by Bray. What a funny kid.)

Hands carry the Fingerprints that we Leave behind

"I'll just run in quickly to see if they have what I need and slip out just as quickly. I'm late, I'm late." I thought to myself.

As the door opened, to my surprise I was greeted by my mom (the babysitter for the evening) and all the munchkins. It took all of 5 seconds for me to find out that they did not have what I needed. But it took all of 2 seconds for my munchkins to slip their little hands into mine. Pressing ever so slightly, while playing with my fingertips with their other hands. Something completely unconsciously done, but oh so tender and sweet. What a simple act that spoke volumes to me. Unfortunately, in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but think "Dang my plans tonight! I would LOVE to play with my kidlets instead. But my car is running, and I am late." So with lots of loves left, I was on my way.

But here's the clincher. Though it is days later, I still feel their little hands in mine. I still feel their little fingers playing with mine. It is moments like these, that I treasure. And if I treasure these moments, I KNOW my little munchkins do too. I love taking the time and getting to know them, letting them get to know me. Children crave to tell us stories, they crave to express their love to us, they crave to leave their little fingerprints in this world. I just wonder sometimes if we, the adults, ever care to think back on those sweet little fingerprints and how much they really do leave behind such a wonderful imprint in our lives. Scary thing is, it goes both ways. We leave the same prints behind too. Only our little ones are often times much better at taking care to see them and remember them. I hope our fingerprints are ones that leave behind goodness and love. What kind of fingerprints are you leaving behind?

So I Went to This Fireside

So I went to this fireside. The guest speaker is a Family and Marriage Therapist. Ironically, I've met her before. I was in a sample group to help give feedback on her book. She's really good. She has some great idea's on the whole dating dynamic. Anyway, I went to this fireside and they passed out this handout. I feel ok regurgitating the info since they were passing it out. It's interesting info. And hey, if it helps us date better or understand one another in order to have better relationships regardless of whether we are married or not, I say..here ya go! :)

17 secrets to the female psychology
1. Women thrive when they feel safe and secure.
2. Women love through sacrifice but need men to communicate their needs if that sacrifice is to be helpful rather than hurtful and over responsible.
3. Women read into men's behaviors, get excited, assume commitment, and then get hurt when he pulls away due to the added pressure.
4. Women are critical of their bodies and fear competition from other women.
5. Women are attracted to strength and confidence.
6. Women are turned off by men who are too nice.
7. Women often fall in love with friends.
8. Women like to be pursued and to feel wanted.
9. Women enjoy touch, kissing, and affection but feel vulnerable and prone to shame after sexual contact.
10. Women want men who hold off sexually - it makes a woman feel respected and wanted rather than feeling like an object.
11. Women want immediate relationships but trust and value slow progressing relationships.
12. Women long to feel adored.
13. Women are repelled by moping, brooding, and the silent treatment.
14. Women worry. They need to know they are not alone in dealing with the problems of the relationship.
15. Women who don't trust and respect their men, fall out of love, especially if there is no communication.
16. Women like gifts, surprises, reasonable spontaneity, and excitement. The extra effort makes them feel special.
17. Women would rather have open and honest communication about misdeeds than to be protected from the truth.

17 secrets to the male psychology
1. Men seek our relationships that make them feel trusted and respected.
2. Men love through sacrifice.
3. Good men are largely logical about their relationships and commitment. Thus they do not commit easily to things they have not invested in over a period of time.
4. Men are driven to succeed, face challenges, compete, and conquer.
5. Men like women who like themselves.
6. Men love to be heroes.
7. Men like being appreciated.
8. Men like femininity.
9. Men like women who have opinions and assert their needs.
10. Good men pursue women who are approachable and appear to be available.
11. Good men want sex with a woman who feels good about having sex with them and will wait until marriage.
12. Men need to be needed.
13. Men are repelled by criticism, nagging, and whining.
14. A man experiences anxiety in every conversation a woman initiates until she tells him what she wants him to do.
15. Men bond through doing activities and talking about things more than they do through talking about people, problems, feelings, or ideas.
16. Good men adore women who give them love, attention, and affection.
17. Good men are often willing to talk openly and honestly when they feel it will help them or another person to do so.
~Alisa Goodwin Snell, LIcensed Marriage and Family Therapist

All I'm saying, is that both guys and girls agreed to both. So there's truth to it. :) I guess I'm wishing us all luck in better relationships and a better understanding of the opposite gender.

November Confessional Block

Just some things/thoughts that have recently gone through this wee lil head o mine...

~ Although I'm not a huge fan of public attention, it certainly feels great to be the beneficiary of plain old attention. It's nice when someone thinks about you and acts on that thought :)

~ I feel bad for those people who have to stand out in the cold, holding signs Advertising items or their place of business. But secretly, I have the urge to chuck a blanket at them as I drive by. But then I figure...that kinda defeats the whole purpose of the kindness thing. (No I haven't ever actually chucked anything at anyone). Don't worry, its just a fleeting urge.

~ I absolutely positutely LOVE the beach. I know that sounds so lame. Sure it's fun to get an olivey tan. But that's not why I love it. I simply love the atmosphere. I love the breeze that always accompanies the beach. I love the smell of the salt water and the sound of the waves crashing. I love to watch families playing with one another. It's a place that relaxes me more than any other place. I just love the beach. Wish I was there now.

~ I cannot stand not going the speed limit. That's what they are there for, right? All people should go the speed limit at the very least in my opinion. When people go under the speed limit it drives me nuts. I know this is a silly pet peeve, but there it is. And if you are looking for an address, I think that should be amongst the purposes of the emergency flashing lights in our cars. "Hey, the person in front of me just put on their flashing lights and are driving slowly, lets pass them so we aren't causing a traffic jam, etc etc". What's wrong with this concept?

~ I am not a huge winter fan. I know, strange when I live in Utah. One thing I do like about Winter is Hot Chocolate. I'm no longer able to have chocolate. So I've been dreading the cold even more than usual. But I've recently discovered something better than hot chocolate. I'm in love with STEAMERS!!!! Even now I'm craving one. It's like having a party in my mouth. I think I can actually face winter knowing many Steamers are in my future. :)

~ One word... Hallmark. As we speak, I am catching up on my hallmark movies. I really like these cheesy shows around the holidays. I know, I know. Sometimes I need a little cheese in my life. :)

Glimpses

As a little girl, I always felt like I was on the wrong side of the glass. My sister was on one side with all the flashing lights and balloons and fun things, and I was on the other side with the left overs. As I got older, I realized that what I saw was nothing but false glamor. It wasn't all that it seemed. But the one thing that I was correct with, was that I was on one side of the glass, and my sister has always been on the other. Every now and then the glass alters and I'm able to glimpse her as if I'm almost on that same side, but the next thing I know is that darn glass is there again. Preventing us from really seeing one anothers perspectives for very long.

Here's the thing that I realized tonight. I am so grateful for the glimpses. I would much rather have them, than not. Though she and I are most definitely very different in most ways, we are similar in several. I am grateful for those glimpses in time when she and I can come together and have real conversations. One's that are based on truth and sincerity. I am grateful for those glimpses that allow for the glass to move enough that I see my sister. No longer parted by obstacles, but really see her and she see's me. I am grateful for glimpses like tonight.

October Confessional Block

To say that this post is MY idea would be..false. To say that this post 'title' is My idea would be..true. I altered the title a bit. Yay. So that's ok, right? Anyway, my friend was talking about how she has friends who have days of confession. I thought that was hilarious. So I thought I'd give it a whirl.

~ I hate commercials and yet, work for a marketing company.

~ I talk right out loud to other cars as I'm driving. I secretly think the other drivers must know what I'm saying if I voice out my words rather than keeping them bottled up in my head.

~ I used to watch a lot of movies and despised TV (going back to #1, plus I don't like feeling like I have to stay at home in order to watch 'my shows'). Now that I have DVR, I watch a little more TV and just fast forward. Oh, the power of the remote is awesome.

~ I find that when I'm busy, I worry about when I'm going to find time to do the everyday stuff. But when I have a spare moment, I veg out and forget that I need to do the everyday stuff during that time. Dangit!

~ I really dislike cliques. You hurt more than you realize when you are apart of one. I try to change up the groups a little bit. Having repeat friends in a group isn't a bad thing. But including different people continually and making them feel wanted and welcome is key. I'm just saying, if you're excluding...what does that say about you as a person? I try not to be that person.

~ It's amazing to me at how un-truthful people are with one another. I'll give an example with myself. When a person asks how we are doing, auto reply "Good!" When truth may be that we are struggling or whatever. I no longer answer with auto replies or if I do, I correct myself. I will say "ok" or something that feels truthful. I even have a friend who says "that's fine" when it's clearly NOT fine. Her motivation is she doesn't want the confrontation or the other person to feel bad but ultimately this just frustrates her more. So...Truth is best.

~ I read Elizabeth Smart's testimonial today and I started tearing up. I can't imagine a person going through all of that, let alone at age 14. Yes, I realize her experience was over 6 years ago.

Well, thanks for tuning into my first try at My Confessional Block (aka, random thoughts I've been having) ;)

"We are Just Crazy Kids"

Last night I had the pleasure to take 2 of my nephews out for their birthdays. My sister in law had asked that since they have way too many toys, we just give them a dollar for their birthdays (cause lets face it, they'll think they're rich with a dollar so why spend or give more). So of course, I wanted to change things up a little bit. I asked my sweeties if they'd like the money or a dinner date with TT. Don't worry, I did this privately just in case they rejected me. Ha. Anyway, to my delight they couldn't believe that they were getting a chance for date night. Ethan (5) even said "wait, we get to go out with you by ourselves!" Which proceeded with a lot of jumping around. Looks like I need to do this more often and not just for birthdays. Brax will love it.

Anyway, so last night we are driving and the boys quite honestly say the darnedest things. I kept laughing. Ryan out of no where just says "We are just crazy kids" as if he had been pondering it for a time. Ha. Then, we got stuck in a little bit of traffic. Ethan isn't the most patient little one. He was getting frustrated at the car in front of me. So we discussed how getting angry and frustrated at things we cannot change doesn't really help the situation (like traffic). And how if we are patient, eventually things work out. The topic moved on to other things, as they often do with little ones. But out of the blue, Ethan says "I've gotta work on being patient". Haha. I asked him who told him that? Just cause I thought it was funny coming out of his mouth and not an adults. Apparently one of his teachers helpers mentioned to him that he's not patient and it stuck. I then asked the boys if they knew what being patient means. I kind of assumed neither one would. They both shocked me when they chimed in and said "it means to wait". Haha. That's actually a really good way to explain patience to a child.

Of all the places we could have gone to eat, they chose McDonald's. That's how much I love my kidlets. Anyway, we walk in and they run up to the toy display to scream out which toy they want in their Happy Meal. Yes, 'scream' with excitement. It was that excitement that won over the worker who was standing near, checking the menu, and ultimately ensuring that their exact toy choices were followed out. Good to note that they not only repeatedly win my heart over, but the hearts of the McDonald employee's as well. :)

As we ate and played, it was so much fun for me to watch them interact with the other children. "Stranger children" as Ethan referred to them as. Ha. Anyway, they told me that one of their favorite things is getting to know the stranger children. Haha. Boy my one nephew would waltz right up to the older kids and ask them to play. No fear. He's quite the social butterfly. Very much like his mother, definitely NOT like his father (my brother). :)

Love my boys. Oh, we were a rock band in the car. The boys were the guitarists. I was opted to be the lead vocalist and drummer. (Difficult to be while driving safely and taking these pics)

Don't worry Heather. Red lights were involved. :) I take your children's lives in my hands VERY seriously. :)

A few Random Thoughts

Thought #1: I suppose this is more of an update from my below post. I've been on my meds for a week. Lets just say they have not been my favorite thing in the world (they make a metal taste in my mouth and nose for one) and don't always make me feel fluffy. However, thankfully...they have not been the worse thing either. I feel blessed that I have periods of time when I feel functional and actually...well. Ok, that part is relative. But comparatively, I am feeling on the mend. The constant abdominal pain is gone. Now I'm just dealing with the occasional pain that can put me out of commission. But hey, I'll take it. :) My pharmacist gave me tips on how to take the cocktail of meds to try to diminish the sickness from taking all of them. Guess what, for the most part it has worked. Well, at least I haven't been non functional. Unfortunately, the further I get the worse the symptoms are, which is what I'm assuming the nurse meant by 'just push through'. I guess its from all the meds in my system for so long. Still, all in all I feel blessed that it could be so much worse and it isn't. I have periods of time when I can actually do the things I need to and I'm able to actually work. Which is very important since I'm the only one taking care of me.

Thought #2: There was a time when I was very sensitive with certain things. Ok, when I say a 'time' I really just mean pretty much my whole life minus the last 2 years. I really was super sensitive to others, I can't watch scary movies as they affect my real every day life, and I can never watch a sad movie without tearing up. When another person cries over something.. I can feel their pain, so I cry too. That's what I mean by sensitive. Anyway, I had an experience a couple years back that really hurt me. I didn't really come to terms with it because I hadn't thought much about what it had done to me until recently. What I have realized is that I closed myself off in some ways. In some ways, I guess I didn't want to be me anymore. Well, the last couple months my family has gone through some hard times. Due to these situations, I have had to really look at the situation and inadvertently it has made me look at myself. I guess some of those walls have started to crumble. I am starting to be that 'sensitive' person again. For goodness sakes I am crying at silly commercials even. Maybe it's payback for the 2 year Hyades, but I guess what all this rambling is all about is just to say...I think I'm back. For good or bad. :)

Thought #3: I am so grateful for such great friends. I have this potted plant (the only living plant I own) and it always makes me think of 2 really great friends. I was going through a rough spell last year. They simply dropped this plant by to bring happiness to me. I was quite certain I'd kill it before the month was over. Welp, I was wrong. It's still alive and strong. I've never NOT killed a house plant. Ha. And every time I water it, I think of my 2 friends and how much our friendship means to me. And how much it meant to me that they'd take the time for little ol' me. Again, as I've been struggling with this current sickness, these friends have messaged me and one dropped a 'get well' bag by full of bland foods. haha. Boy she knows me well to know I haven't been shopping for a few weeks. Hate shopping. :) Anyway, it's so great to have friends. True friends who know us, think of us, and act on those feelings. Thanks friends..

Thought #4: I really am grateful for tender moments. My little Cameryn is such a stink but oh so cute too. :) No matter what she's doing, all I have to do is say "Cameryn, I la lu!" (I love you) and she stops what she is doing and says "La lu" with her little crooked smile and soft voice. Melts my heart. There's nothing that can beat the love of a child. I treasure it. :)

I have Yuckiness

Ok, so I'm not one to go spreading my problems out there...but I'm a little relieved and nervous at the same time. Over the last little bit I've been having some abdominal pain and chest pain. I've worked in the medical field for 6 years, I figured I had a handle on it. No problem. I chalked it up to heartburn. Well, once the antacids stopped working and I started having excruciating pain for hours at a time after I would eat or drink anything, I figured perhaps I had procrastinated something I shouldn't have waited on. Whoops. What can I say? I try not to blow things out of proportion I guess.

Long story short, my doc wanted to narrow down a few options before going straight to scarier things. He believes I have been experiencing a very strong type of heartburn which actually destroys your esophagus. Great! Anyway, so I've been on a very restricted diet to give my esophagus a break and hopefully allow it to heal. Ironically all foods pretty much make me sick so no problem doc. Great weight loss program I guess. Ha. Anyway, even though what he said made sense and I agree with him that I probably am having those problems, I felt strongly (after researching my symptoms) that I had an ulcer as well. I expressed this to him. He told me it is possible and he could check to see if I have the bacteria causing the ulcers. I am truly grateful that my doc listens to me. It might have something to do with the fact that I used to work for him and he knows me well. :)

My results FINALLY came back. Yup. I have the yuckiness in my tum tum. I'm a little nervous. I start the VERY aggressive meds today. My nurse told me that I need to push through even though it's going to make me very sick. Hopefully I will be able to work and keep down the meds. Sigh. My question is, if I'm already having a hard time eating and drinking....how the heck am I going to handle being more sick than I already am? Yikes. Somehow, I will make it through.

Up side, I did learn that although stress does aggravate ulcers, it is not the 'cause' of ulcers. Good to know. Up up side, there is an end in sight for at least some of the pain. Right? :)

Secretly Elated by it all...

Sunday was a double wammie. We celebrated 2 birthday's even though Ethan's birthday was a little bit ago and Ryan's birthday was actually that day. He was so good to share the day with his older bro. As I walked into the house, I was on a mission... I simply HAD to find my Ry-Ry! Mission accomplished, he and Ethan were trying to figure out Badmiton. Boy was that hilarious! So inventive! Once they saw me, they came a-runnin'. :) To my hearts joy, of course. Though we were celebrating Ethan that day too, I took special cares to make Ry-Ry know it was HIS special day (since I'd already made it Ethan's day on his actual bday). He curled up in my lap as I sang him my special (nerdy) happy birthday song that only the kidlets get to hear cause let's face it..I don't just sing solo's for ANYONE!!! Yikes!

Can you believe my kidlet's 4?! This is him showing his age. VERY appropriate ;)


We even took secret special pictures too. I'll share with you cause I KNOW you can keep a secret. What can I say, the kids like their pics taken. :) Well.. I can simply PRETEND that I'm the most beautiful princess in ALL of them, can't I? Even though you and I both know the truth. Double Yikes!!

Anyway, here's my secret elation, non birthday related. In comes Brax. He walks right up to Ryan and pats him and says "Ryn, hap birf-day!" Just as this happens, Ethan asks Brax if he wants to play. What?! Usually the boys play with each other and EVENTUALLY include Brax in. This was a first for me to see happen in this particular manner. Yeah!!! Ryan and Ethan began showing Brax how 'they' thought one should play badmiton and so Ryan handed Brax his racket to try it out. That got old fast. So, the next thing I know, Ethan grabs Brax by the hand and they are playing on the swing set. Excluding Ryan. What?! Is this even possible? Usually Brax is the one excluded. Though I'd much rather all the kids playing with each other, I was elated that Brax was the one chosen this time around. And he loved it. He's doing SO well! I guess my heart just soars when he's playing with others, saying 'his words' and interacting like the rest of the kids. (P.S. Don't worry about Ry-Ry. He and I had our own fun on the tramp). Goodness...I remember WHY I don't jump on that thing anymore! Good thing all the kidlets are so little right now that my lil jumps still make them fly. All I can say is T.I.R.I.N.G



Speaking of interacting. So we were opening presents. Brax LOVES this part. Well I was helping the boys and trying to keep all the other kidlets at bay so pictures could be taken of the excitement. One of my tactics was to get Brax to sit on my lap. I was failing, to say the least. So I told Brax.."Braxie, I haven't got my loves yet! (my hugs). So he turns to me, thinks about my words, turns his 'thought' look into the CUTEST smile and gives me the biggest Brax hug. Then he pulls away, holds his hand up in a 'hold it right there' kind of way, and says "Dats enof". And continues to NOT sit on my lap so pictures can be taken. Sigh. What can I say, these kinds of moments are priceless. And worth every second of my life. :)

What is it About Me?

What is it about me? I am just not sure! I had a friend ask me this very question and I told him that if he could figure it out for me, I'd be most grateful, cause I've been asking that question for quite awhile now and have come up with nothin'.

Last night the topic came up of 'lines' and should a person give creepy guys/girls a chance if the creep vibe is minimal. During this conversation my last months experiences somehow came to light. I'm not sure why I've had an increase in the creep factor or why I keep having these kinds of experiences but I do. I was trying out a new ward and I ended up talking with a guy (who had targeted me just 2 yrs prior). Luckily he did not remember me. Maybe because I was a blond back then. But too years prior he stopped me in my tracks and began laying it on pretty thick. He told me I "walked like a latin dancer". I didn't realize that he meant that I walked 'sexy'. My guy friend had to explain that to me later. Anyway, I was pretty turned off by this guy then and found myself talking to him now. What are the odds. Guess what, he was still creepy! As I was talking to him, I felt a hand caressing my back as 'the hand' was walking by. I turned to look and another guy with a huge excited grin said 'HI' in a very creepy voice. Oh dear. As much as I like being caressed by a complete strangers, I think I'll pass there too. Sigh. This will be my third experience this month (counting the guy who got 'lost in the beauty of my eyes'). So as we talked about these experiences, he asked me what it is about me that draws these kinds of experiences. Well you got me! I seriously do not know. And here's my theory and experience, if you are getting the creep vibe from the beginning...that doesn't just go away. In fact, it usually just gets worse. Sorry. So no, I don't give the creepers a chance. I pretty much stay away. What we didn't discuss much (to my disappointment), was what the heck is my deal? Why me? I am not sure why I am the one with the target for the creepo's. Sheesh.

Anyway, if my lovely friends have any advise or suggestions so that I can turn that creepo attracter OFF, I welcome it. :)

Refuge, Whatever that May be...

As you are aware or simply can imagine, life hasn't been all peaches and cream the last little bit for me or my family. We have been dealing with a lot. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was pooped. But in this time, I've done a lot of reflection and trying to find healthy outlets myself. Which I feel is the key for anyone in hard situations. One may simply need a good friend, or a book to escape to. Whatever your healthy outlet, great. Just so long as you have one. I went to the temple last week. What an amazing feeling it brings to be in the House of the Lord. I'm so grateful every time I step into those doors, that I'm able to partake of the simple blessing of doing that one act. Yes I love being able to serve my gospel sisters in the Temple, but really, I love that I'm able to simply go. That we have Temples. That we have a place that serves as a refuge from all the world. That I, Tandy, have a place I can go that makes me feel closer to my Heavenly Father when I have crummy weeks. That I have a place that I can REALLY focus on spiritual things and not think about all the other junk. Did it make my problems go away? No. Did it make my family's problems go away? No. Did it make me feel better regardless? Yes.

I also had the privilege to have a little R&R with just a few of my kidlets. Now, my sister-in-law may beg to differ, but my job is not the same as hers. You see, I get to play aunt. She has to play mom. TOTALLY different. Anyway, it was my nephews birthday. He's 5!!! I surprised the kids by stopping by Carl's Jr (where they were). It never ceases to amaze me at their excitement level to see me. My sweet Ethan opted to not play on the playground just in order to snuggle with me on the bench. Oh how I love that kid! It's almost as if he always knows when I need that! :) My sister-in-law had had a long week with the kidlets so I opted to go to Ikea with them. Good thing cause the playground was full so that meant the kids stayed with us while shopping. I just loved every second with my kids. We played different games in the store (non-rowdy games of course) and hopefully I helped Heather just a little bit. At one point we were waiting and I sat on a chair and Ethan climbed onto my lap and snuggled right in. He said "TT, I am just SOOOO comfortable right now! I am so comfortable right now cause I'm with you." This my friends, would be one of my outlets. My kids always seem to make me feel the love and peace. I'm just grateful my sisters frequently share. :)

In a Child's Eyes

As a little girl, I grew up watching my older sister. She was a popular, blonde, beauty. In my eyes, she had it all.

It's amazing how life's experiences change us. How if we allow them, our experiences can either affect us for good or affect us in a damaging and unpredictable way. I don't think any one person chooses to take life experiences badly. But I truly believe we must actively make a decision to take all experiences in life and learn from them. Grow from them. The hard truth is this, we ALL experience hardships. We all have our ups and downs. But the key here is that we ALL do. No one is a victim here. We are all blessed with opportunities. The question is, are we taking those opportunities and learning from them?

As I walked into the hospital room of the ICU, I didn't know what to expect. My heart was guarded. My feelings in check. What would I see? I didn't know. This wasn't the first time I had gone to the hospital to see her. But it was certainly the first time for this reason. I felt wrong. I felt like I wasn't the right person to be there. Maybe I shouldn't have been chosen. Maybe I should let my brother handle it. As I stepped into her room, she weakly looked up at me and smiled. It was then that I was once again her baby sister. I was once again the little girl at my beautiful sisters feet, sitting with her and holding her hand. Trying to understand. You see, my sister tried to take her life last week.

Since only close friends and family read my blog now, I feel this is a safe place. I almost don't even know how to express my feelings on this experience. No, this is not something that is 'public' knowledge. However, my family could really use the prayers right now. And I truly believe there is a great power in 'specific' prayers. I would ask that you all pray for her. She needs all the prayers she can get. I thank you in advance.

Much love.

A Different 'Gardening' Perspective

As I was weeding my garden the other day, a few things happened. For one, my thoughts wouldn't shut off. I must preface this by saying that I loath weeding. Truly. I dislike all aspects of it. I hate that when I do it, my allergies kick in to high gear and then I'm sniffling, itchy, and surrounded by creepy, crawly things that I've accidentally unearthed while pulling out the unwanted weeds. So I say again, I DISLIKE WEEDING. There, I think I've made my point. ;)

Anyway, I rarely have the time to weed and lets face it..it's not really on my list of things to do when I do have a spare minute. Before I know it, I have tree weeds growing in my planters. It's pretty bad. Well, the other day I had a little bit of spare time that I thought I should weed. Mistake #1 was not having weeding gloves. My weeds apparently have swords growing out of them. Mistake #2 was not having tools to help me dig up the flat weeds that just spread out rather than up. Mistake #3 was allowing them to grow so crazy that it is now a huge job to try to clean up. All of these mistakes were coming to mind as I was pulling the weeds (carefully) and adding them to a pile to be thrown away.

I tried tackling a bundle of my tree weeds at the same time. Let's not waste time, right? They would not budge. I gave it my all, determined to have them gone. Still, no budge. I was not going to give up. So I took one tree weed and pulled. Up it came. I took another tree weed, and up it came. So amazing. My thoughts wondered to how SO like life this is. We all have 'things' in our lives.. 'weeds' if you will. Whether we like it or not, sometimes they just appear out of no where (or so it seems) and muck up our lives. They will not just go away by ignoring them. We must pluck them out of the ground and toss them away. And often times, it is not as easy as grabbing all of these undesirable things at once and getting rid of them. But rather, we must take them one by one and take care of it. But if we take those undesirables one by one, we find that they usually come up. Some easier than others, but they come up none the less. Root and all, so we can toss them aside and get rid of them. But we need to be willing to put in the time. Ideally, we would do this on a regular basis so that we are not overwhelmed. But oh how satisfying it is to know we can take care of the undesirables and have them gone and out of our 'gardens'. :)

Again, moving on with my weeding experience. As I was in my garden and seeing all sorts of different kinds of weeds populating my garden. I must stay that I try to be VERY aware of the creepy crawlies around me. I cannot be near anything that might surprise me. Hence the being aware part. So let's just say, if ever I become a rich person, a gardener just might bring me peace of mind. haha. Oh sorry, I digress. Anyway, as I was making a mental note of my surroundings, I noted 2 honey bee's!!!! Yes, you read that correctly!!! They were sucking from a few of my sparse flowers. :) Yay!!! And for anyone who has been reading up on honey bee's, you may have heard that the prediction is that they are going extincted. I'm not sure how they are basing this prediction because I'm not one who has read up on this, but I've heard this over and over. So honey bee's in my garden equals happiness in my heart as long as their stingers stay away from me. :) Well as I'm pulling away, I note that the bee's start to multiply and I now have 4 bee's!!! And then it goes up to 8 bee's!!! Holy cow! And here's the kicker, they aren't just going to my flowers, but they are going to the weeds that have flowers on them. That's interesting. So naturally I had to stop weeding. I couldn't take away their tasty treat. So there you have it. My logic for not pulling the weeds with flowers on them. I couldn't disrupt the harvest the bee's were having. I simply couldn't. Ok and plus my hands were raw (I had a lot of weeds and still do).

But I am determined. I will just have to find a time that is not harvest time. Oh yeah, and I need to get to the store and get me some gloves/tools to help finish the job in order to spare my poor hands :)


P.S. I did look up Bee Extinction to see if it is even true. Apparently Honey Bee's are exotic to North America. The 'wild' honey bee seems to be doing fine. The problem is with the 'domesticated' honey bee colonies which are experiencing colony collapse disorder. Sad. But it's good to know so now I don't feel so bad about pulling my weed flowers. :) They will just move on to another flower. I guess I was just hoping my flowers were special or something. hahaha

It's a Toss Up

I have 5 nieces at this point in time. 4 of which were born in the month of July. This idea of mine all started when once upon a time, I only had 3 nieces who all shared the same birth month and well...we just wanted a reason to play together. :) Let's face it, we know how to have a good time.

So...I started a Sleepover Night With Auntie T on their Birth Month! So clever, I know. The girls have such a blast ever year. But I have to admit, it's a toss up between them...or me. I love to watch their clever lil minds at work with what our next game will be. We have a great time.

Um...what can I say? Silly faces are pretty much a MUST!!! No you don't get to see mine. I've had 31yrs to master my skillz. My sweeties are still learning from the master. I don't want to put them to shame by my silly face wonderment and all... yeah that's it. :)

Our dinner in the park was a HIT!!! We had so much fun playing there...that we didn't even have time to paint our nails that night! I mean, this is serious business friends! But, it's ok...cause they each got a mini nail polish later in their birthday grab bag. But we ate, played ghost in the grave yard, the girls took turns taking pics w/ my camera (which is why there is a pic of them fanning me w/ branches) haha. Again with the creativity. :) Check out the pic with Valarie hiding on the slide while the girls are trying to find her and climbing right by her. Boy did she scare the pants off of em. :) What I don't have was a shot of them playing 'their version' of red light, green light. I couldn't stop laughing when I was videoing it. It was funny. I guess it's just one of those times when it will only be a memory in our hearts. Sorry I can't share the footage. I ruined it. Drat!



Total opposites, but still Best friends. Regardless of whether or not one is annoying the other at the moment :)

Ok, so before popcorn and a movie in our glorious sleepover attire, I HAD to have our birthday time. I've never heard all three of them scream like that. Again, my laughter ruined the video. I really must learn to control that. :) By golly, I think they like their gifts. :)



Don't tell their mothers...but we watched the movie until 11PM!!! Whoops. I figure, that's what sleepovers are for. And...perhaps that's what an auntie is for. Right? ;) I let em sleep in. Don't worry, they got 8-9 hrs of sleep. See....



I even had a mattress for them. :) Unlike last year when we did a camp out in the lumpy grass (backyard) and it was like 150 degrees out. What can I say, always a surprise, but always a blast. :) Love my girls!!!

Though there's just the four of us now, the tradition will not change. Once the other two are old enough for sleepovers, the party will just get a little bigger. I'm totally excited for that day too. But until then, I will enjoy my 3-musketeers. :) I know the girls look forward to our Summer sleepover ALL year long, but I think it's a toss up. Cause I do too. :)

I Know How I'd Feel If...

While standing in the Sistine Chapel just a few months ago, and watching while multiple people were taking pictures and videoing the art around us even though we were specifically asked not to, I remember thinking, "this is sacred to someone. Sure they want to preserve the art, but it is also sacred. And if they are being so kind to share it with the world, we need to respect their wishes. I know how I'd feel if someone were taking pictures inside MY temple."

Well, I experienced that yesterday. I brought a non member friend to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Open House last night. It was a wonderful experience overall. To start the silent tour inside the Temple, you are brought into a tent to watch a video. They specifically ask you not to take pictures inside the Temple, however, you may take pictures outside all you want. As we proceeded on the tour of the Temple, I noticed a man several people behind us with his flip phone out, quite obviously taking pictures with it. The first time I noticed it was when we were in a stairwell. I thought, "ok, it was just stairs..maybe that's not a big deal." But the more we went on, the more I was upset at my silence. This was my temple. A sacred place to me. A place that we were yes, sharing with the public, but doing so with the understanding that we hold it very sacred. I began watching the man. We then entered the Sealing room. He whipped out his phone again and started taking pictures. I couldn't believe it. I moved toward him and told him "no pictures, sir". And probably gave him a look that said this is a sacred place and you've been asked not to already. He pretended not to hear me so I repeated myself and then reported him to a stake president who was near. My conscience was feeling much better. I did not just stand by in my Father's Sacred Holy House.

What a difference it makes to Stand up for what we Believe in. Stand up for things we cherish. Stand up even when it's hard.

Tired or Simply Line repelled?

Ok, so I had a very interesting day yesterday. As most of you know, I have reached the young age of 31 years. What the heck does that matter? Well, it means I am transitioning into a phase in my life where I am searching for belonging in the church world. Don't get me wrong. I am most definitely NOT searching for a new spiritual belief, just a place to set my hat every Sunday to worship. My current singles ward is only for those up to age 30. Once you hit the big 3 1, it's time to set your sights somewhere else. Anyway, so I decided to try the mid singles ward yesterday. Big breath. Now granted, I did go to my regular ward (because I was asked to attend) and there happened to be a mingle at both wards...so we are talking church for 6 hrs, 2 mingles, AND wait for it...I had a baptism to top it off. So needless to say, I was pretty exhausted.

I thought I'd jot down my experience at the mid singles ward. This is more to just getting it out of my system. When my friend and I got there, a guy was lingering in the hall and immediately made verbal contact with us as we were headed to the bathroom before Relief Society. A little quirky, but alright. As we headed into RS, that same guy was now hanging outside the RS doors and made more verbal contact with me. Still alright. I get to sacrament meeting and same guy sits on the same bench on the opposite side as me. I notice this guy continually maneuvering positions to see me throughout all of the meeting. I smiled at him to let him know I did in fact notice him (hoping he'd stop making such an awkward attempt at getting noticed). Nope, he continued watching me throughout the meeting. After the meeting he stood at his end of the bench, waiting for me to get up, however, I was looking for the hymns we would be using for the baptism. So the next thing I knew, he was standing right in front of me making hymnal comments. Wow! This guy was trying SO HARD!!! Impressed and flattered that someone was going to ALL THIS TROUBLE to get my attention, I spoke with him for a few minutes and he went on his way as I finished with the baptism hymnal stuff. My friend and I went into the mingle to waste some time before the baptism and yep....there was my mystery man again. And for the next 30 or so minutes we talked. At one point he asked me a question and when it was time for him to respond, he said "I'm sorry, I was listening but I was just mesmerized by how beautiful your eyes are". Hahaha. Wow. I'm not sure if he's creepy AND nervous, just nervous, or just creepy?! I thought maybe I was just tired, but the more I think about it the more I realize, hearing blatant 'lines' is such a turnoff. Now, had I known this guy and he was just paying me a compliment... that's flattering. :)

Just a lil Bit of Joy

I have had much to be thankful and joyful about lately. I just wanted to share a few of the things that have caused my heart joy. :)

...being able to spend a week on the beach, a place where I find so much peace.

...being able to wake up to my niece and nephews and have them snuggle with me and giggle about silly things.

...learning how to fly the glider kite. A lot more fun than one would think. :)

...playing go-fish with the kiddos.

...playing on the play ground and watching the kidlets try to be safe AND daring at the same time. So proud.

...going for walks on the beach.

...watching sunsets.

...making funny faces.

...laughing lots.

...being present when my sweet Braxie wanted to say Dinner prayer (he's doing so well!!).

...being able to help Braxie hold his new baby sister, whom he loves oh so much!



...having tender moments with another sweet lil one who loves to cuddle just like ME ;)



...partaking of the yummy goodness of Dairy Queens Tagalong Blizzard which is amazingly delicious.

Practice Makes Perfect

Many may wonder why I have gone with my chosen blog title. Call it what you want, but I simply call it my reminder. I truly believe it. Life IS about learning to dance in the rain. We DO either decide to stand still, never changing and simply getting wet for no good reason other than to be miserable in that moment. OR, we decide to MOVE, and learn from the situation what we will. Movement is key! Dance! Have fun with life. And when it throws thunder clouds, learn from it what you may. There is ALWAYS something to be learned.

So why the blog title? Well, it's my motto in life. Do I forget it sometimes? Well, hello! I AM only human. But I certainly try to remember it and I think most times I do ok. Perhaps practice makes perfect. ;) HA.

Banana Hands

Confession. I HATE bananas. It's true. The one exception is banana bread and only if a very small amount of banana is used. I only say this now because I recently had my first banana bread that TASTED like I was eating a nasty banana. They apparently used 4x the allotted banana requirement. But in most cases, you cannot taste banana in banana bread. But I loath bananas. They overpower any other taste. In a smoothie...there's the after taste that banana leaves. Banana tongue if you will. Fruit salad with bananas in it...there's the banana slim that banana leaves all over the other fruit. Who can enjoy fruit slimmed? It's just not good.

Interestingly enough, my hate for bananas comes up a lot. Apparently people find it intriguing. Inevitably, they always ask the questions about when I have children, will I refuse to feed them bananas. To me, this is a funny question.

Exhibit A. This weekend my nephew was eating a banana. For all good friends who know me, know I have an extremely sensitive smeller. I smell EVERYTHING. Well,what can I say, he wanted to sit on me and eat this crazy huge banana. I love him. Of course I want him to sit with me. And I only cringed inside when he was putting his banana hands all over me. Cause I love him. He has NO idea that I loath bananas. None of my kidlets know Aunt TT is completely grossed out by bananas...the smell and all that goes with it. Because that's just how I roll. I love them, banana hands and all. :)

Aware

I suppose one thing you could say I've been doing lately, is trying to become more aware. Aware of myself. Aware of those around me. Aware of my Father in Heaven. And in this journey, the one thing that has trumped all others, is HE is aware of ME. I suppose when we are trying to be more spiritually grounded and in search for good things, we are blessed and able to bless the lives of others.

The last week I have been overwhelmed by such wonderful experiences. I love that life is such a learning experience. In the last week I've received 4 notes from friends. I've been overwhelmed by my experiences with each friend. All I can say, is that I am truly blessed to know each friend. I'm blessed to brush shoulders with them. It is amazing to me that these 'notes' would come at a time when i would be questioning myself and perhaps whether I could be doing better. Boy our Father in Heaven knows when to put people in our lives and when to motivate people in our lives. I am truly grateful for the lessons learned. And yes, I feel I am aware more and more every day.

Please and Thank You!

For those of you who know me well, you know that I invest A LOT of hopefully 'quality' time with my nieces and nephews. It's important to me. Pretty much children are my life. Anyway, while I spend that time with them... there are just things that they know I WILL allow and things they know i WILL NOT allow. Please's and Thank you's are a must. You may be scratching your head right now and thinking, this girl is crazy. The 'please' and 'thank yous' will come and kids will be kids. But I'm a firm believer in teaching children kindness. A kind child is a kind adult. Who's gonna complain about having too many kind adults? Seriously!

Exhibit A. I was getting lunch today. Cafe Rio. I put in my order and couldn't help but note the behavior behind me. This woman was on her phone the entire time. First of all she acted as if she was inconvenience by having to give her order (I'm sorry that the Cafe Rio staff are not mind readers), and then when it came to payment she actually threw her credit card across the counter top at the woman. No she didn't place it ON the counter (which is only slightly better). She tossed it, it slid across the counter and I thought for a second that it would go all the way off and onto the floor. I thought to myself...who does that?! Sadly....I think a lot of people do. In my reflection over this...I was grateful to note that I had used my pleases and thank yous. My mother taught me well. Thank you mom!

So why do I stress pleases and thank yous with the little ones? Because we shouldn't live in a world where behavior like the kind that I witnessed today is acceptable. We shouldn't live in a world where WE contribute to that kind of behavior. Because as soon as we do...what does that really mean? If we stop saying it, does that mean we stop feeling it? Does that mean we actually stop feeling thankful? I hope not. Because there is much to be grateful for. :)

Going Private

I know, I know. Shocking that the paranoia has finally hit me. I'm going to be taking my blog private in the next few weeks or so. Please don't be bashful. I LOVE having blog stalkers ;) If you'd like to continue reading my blog, either post here with your email or send me an email and I'll send you an invite.

Remember...don't be bashful. :)
Much luv friends.

Unfinished Symphony

I have the amazing privilege of knowing this amazing person. Although she does not see HER potential...she cannot fool me. :) I see it. Yes I do. :)And others see it too. This friend and I share a liking for this one movie. Kind of a random movie but the name alone speaks volumes. A mirror has two faces. Guess what? We may see one image in that mirror, but others see something completely different. Often times we are our harshest critic. We pick out what we are lacking and all the negatives we see. But others see all the good things that radiates from us. It's up to us to start seeing both sides of that mirror. :)


I read this poem today...Unfinished Symphony by Laurence Overmire

We are told somehow
Creation happened a
Long, long, time ago

But look around you
Each day brings
Things not seen or heard before

With each revolution of moon and star
The Creator is constantly
Sculpting new life out of the dust

New heavens to behold

Our world is a dream
Spinning on the potters wheel
Ever wondrous, sometimes frightening

But always, in process
Of becoming
More.

Friend, I know life is so unbelievably hard right now. Life has thrown you curve ball after curve ball. You are constantly battling. I am often times at a loss for words. But I know this. I love you. I am here for you when you need. And YOU are here for a reason. Though we do not understand all things, I know you have purpose. You have been such a strong example of love, strength, hope, and endurance to me. You, my friend, are an unfinished symphony, in process of becoming more. Hold on to your faith. Hold on to your hope. I love you always.

It's about That Time

I just celebrated my 31st birthday. I had some really great friends kidnap me and take me out for a more personal (smaller) birthday gathering. All I was told was that I had to dress up nice...i.e. like I was going to a wedding but we were definitely NOT going to a wedding. We celebrated in a beautiful park (bridge and creek included) with candles, 31 balloons, bum pillows (cause I DEFINITELY need those!!), yummy food, a brownie/raspberry pyramid cake, laughter, and good friends. Oh yes, and I can't forget the singing...I asked that it not happen, but my wish wasn't obeyed. Yes...I have good friends. Thanks guys! :)


(The evil genius who helped put this together..along w/ Jamie-kins who ironically was not in this pic with us)

For those of you who still live in the 'Singles Ward Arena' you will understand what turning 31 REALLY means to a still single person. It means we 'graduate' for a completely different reason other than marriage. Actually, it's more like a 'fail but we're gonna push you forward instead of holding you back cause we can't continue to keep you in this holding pattern any longer' type situation. So basically it's NOT like grade school. They DON'T keep you til you get it right, aka 'pass'.

Ironically my new bishop told me he wasn't going to 'allow' me to leave the ward no matter how old I was. Kinda nice. Unfortunately I was just told today that the Stake Pres just told him it's a no go for us oldies to continue staying on. Sad business. I guess my decisions been made for me. I no longer need to decide whether I want to stay or not (which is what I've been doing). I guess, however, I will stay as long as they will let me so that I can finish my calling in the Presidency. It's gonna be strange going to a home ward again (cause I'm not gonna lie... there's no way I'm going to the 31+ yr old ward). No thanks! I already get 50 yr olds hittin' on me in stores, etc etc. I don't need em doing that on a continual basis in church. So, I will thankfully take my leave soon and gracefully take my post as primary teacher (a calling I absolutely loved). On to a new chapter in my life. Apparently it's about that time. :)

Forever...Dap!

So my niece (almost 2 yrs) is quite the little talker. It is HILARIOUS to hear her formulate the words. My gosh she is CUTE!!! Anyway, she knows everyone in our family. Which is a lot of people when you include spouses and kidlets. For some strange reason, she WILL NOT say my sister-in-laws name...Erica. She will say Eric... and she will say 'a', but when put together...she says 'Dap'. So my sister-in-laws name is, and most likely will always be, 'Dap'. We try tricking her. We go through all the names and she says them all (including the dogs names), but when it comes to Erica...it's Dap. We even try just pointing to people so she doesn't hear the name. That doesn't even work. She knows Erica as Dap. And I cannot lie...it cracks us ALL up. Yes, even Dap. :)

Your Super Powers have no Power Over Me! :)

#1. I don't care who you are, when a child hugs you out of pure excitement of seeing you...it melts away any bad day.
#2. Don't egg on you brothers. I don't care how much younger they are, they WILL get you.
#3. Your super powers have no power over ME!!! muuhahaha
#4. "Got it" has apparently stuck in my kiddies vocab.

To some, this list may just be a bunch of randomness. Rightly so. To others, this list might just be a teaser for what is to come. :) Put your seat belts on ladies and gents cause allow me to take you on my fun filled evening with a few of my kidlets.

My mother is babysitting the kidlets and I decided that I'd pop on over and see them. No joke, I barely get out of my car and I'm surrounded by the wee-ones. They are hugging, kissing, and squealing as if they haven't seen me in AGES. When in reality I just saw them two days ago. Sigh. I don't care who you are, when a child hugs you out of pure excitement of seeing you, it melts away any bad day. If that's not magic, I don't know what is. :)

So as I'm playing with the kids (hello, what else would I be doing?), I decided that I'd let them play on the tramp while I just laughed at them. My oldest nephew started teasing his younger brothers. Ya know, the kind where he bets them they can't take him down. Well as it turns out. They COULDN'T take him down. So he got a little overly confident. He started telling them that they couldn't even get his shorts!! Oh, that did it! Ethan was determined!! Even though he's 4 and Bray is 11 didn't stop his efforts. He tried and tried. I laughed and laughed. So many close calls. Then all of the sudden E got a hold of Brays shorts! E gripped 'em good and the next thing I know is Ry-ry tag teamed him and grabbed the front part of his shorts while tripping Bray. Bray was down for the count and his shorts were completely OFF his body!!! I was rolling. Not just cause of that but because at the same exact moment, a jogger went by. Hahaha. Just goes to show, don't egg your brothers on. I don't care how much younger they are, they WILL get you!! :)

Side note, if you have a child that is nervous to go on the tramp. One thing I've found that helps with my nephews is that I jump with them and take hold of their armpits. Holding them is too dangerous. However, if you face them out and you have a hold of their armpits while their feet are still on the tramp, they still have the feel of jumping as high as you do but they won't fall because you have ahold of them. They feel secure and yet they feel like they are also doing part of the work (when really you are). Plus it saves your back. :)

Ok, so after the pantsing incident, the kids started playing superhero on the tramp and around the tramp. I sat in a chair by the tramp and was the tickle chamber should any one accidentally come close enough to ensnare. Which ironically happened ALOT. Hm. My niece found herself in my tickle chamber and she tried to freeze me (her superhero power) and of course, superhero powers do not work on the tickle chamber! Hello!!! Needless to say, the super hero's found themselves needing to resort to other methods to try to escape besides their powers. It did not stop them from trying EVERY time to use their powers. I merely had to tell them that their super powers do not work on ME! Muuhahahaha.

Lastly, my nephews (one in particular) have a very hard time listening. I try many ways to make sure they are listening, but it's always amusing to learn which 'method' you are using the most often lately. As I was putting this particular kidlet to bed, he was asking me all sorts of questions. I didn't want his mind going over all the information right before bed. So I simply told him that Nana (my mom) was going to be here for a few days and he should just have fun playing with her while she's here. Before I could even check to see if he was listening he said "Got it'. hahaha. It was then that I realized that lately my way of checking to see if he's with me is by asking him "Got it?" and he replys "Got it". hahaha.

What a fun night. I can always count on my kidlets. :)

No Power Over Us

I wasn't able to hear Elder Bednar's CES fireside on Sunday so I listened to it tonight. Wow! It was fantastic. If you haven't had a chance to hear it, I'd encourage you to give it a listen.

One thing he said that I felt was so strong is a quote he gave by Joseph Smith, "The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man. And when cast out by the Savior, he asked to go into the herd of Swine, showing that he would prefered a swine's body to having none. All beings who have bodies, have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power."

Wow on so many levels. I guess I've never thought of things in quite these terms before. I feel so blessed to be reminded that Satan doesn't have any power over us unless we permit him.

http://www.lds.org/move/index.html?type=ces&event=1&lang=english#

I will Never stop Loving that :)

As I was quickly walking towards the Draper temple yesterday in the drenching rain, I was concentrating on collapsing my umbrella and didn't realize that a handsome gentleman was watching and waiting. As I finished with my umbrella, I went to grab the temple doors to allow myself in and he hurried and grabbed the handle before me and asked "Ready?" with a smile. As he did so, he opened the door for me. Girls, pick yourselves off the floor. I JUST said that. He totally opened the door for me...a stranger. I was so taken back. I hardly knew what to do. Good grief! Honestly, I will NEVER stop loving that kind of gesture!!! :) It says...you're a lady, and I recognize that. Sigh. So all you gentleman out there who still open doors for us...good for you!!! :)

Just Because

Boy Life is interesting. I love how if you listen carefully, you hear so many different things ALL at once. I feel truly blessed to be living at a time when I am able to contemplate all that is presented me, all that is laid before me, all that is given me. I am so grateful that I don't just take things at face value. That I can actually be given something (anything) and interpret it and come up with many perspectives, incites, and theories. Life is about growing and I certainly hope I am taking every opportunity to do so.

As you are aware (from my below post), I just returned from Italy. Upon my return I came back to many texts, voice messages, facebook messages, and emails. Talk about feeling loved. :) Thanks friends and family. My point is that after perusing through my messages, I came across a message from someone dear to me. This is what it said "Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are, doesn't mean you shine any less. Never allow someone to be your priority, when to them you are just an option." Now before you start reading into this and thinking that I've been slighted or moping around etc etc, please don't. haha. I love quotes and this was just a quote amongst many. But it really hit me. Let me explain. I have the blessing to serve amongst many wonderful women. I am blessed to know many women. By these associations, I have come to KNOW them, see their struggles (amongst my own), learn of what ails them, and try to serve them the best I can. Unfortunately this quote would have come in handy many times over in the past.

My point. Friends (guy or girl), you are a gold mine. Own that! Don't become caulky, but realize that you deserve someone who also SEE's that you are a gold mine. Just because it hasn't happened for you yet (yet being the key word) doesn't mean you start to dim. Get it?! For heaven sakes shine all the brighter, because YOU know that YOU are one hot mama (or fella). Got it?! Don't let someone else determine whether you shine or not. Don't empower another person over you like that. I also love the part where it talks about how you shouldn't allow someone to take priority (hello I'm guilty of that recently...um and if you could see me at the moment you'd see that I'm holding my head in shame). Especially when there are so many options (for guys especially, hahaha). My point is that no matter your situation, SHINE. Don't forget yourself just because you are in a relationship. Don't forget yourself because you are concentrating so hard on the other person. Don't forget yourself...shine no matter what. Nothing is more attractive than a person who shines. We as human beings attract to light. So SHINE! :) Now, I'm not saying that you become the attention seeker or that you become something that you are not. I'm say that you embrace who you are. Love who you are.

So I say again "Just because no one has been fortunate enough to realize what a gold mine you are (yet), doesn't mean you shine any less..."

I truly appreciate your allowing me to ramble on these kinds of topics every now and again. I have learned many times that when I feel I should, I should. :) Whether it is for one of you or many of you. It is worth it to me. Much love friends! :)

When Italy came a Knockin'

Italy was A MAZE ING!!!! Seriously a dream come true. I found myself thinking a lot and really just taking in the beauties of the land. Sigh. So great! I am so grateful to have been able to go. Ok, besides the fact that EVERYONE seemed to have a cigarette attached to their lip which made for a no bueno situation for me since I'm allergic to cigarette smoke and had a constant headache along with puffy face (breath..and I realize that was a very long sentence that probably should have been several), but aside from that, it was PERFECT. :)

We flew into Rome Italy. Once settled into our hotel, a few of us decided to head across town to an LDS church to help with the relief efforts for the recent earthquake victims. It's all about service my friends. Unfortunately our timing was off and we missed them. Karissa and I separated off and explored Spagna. This ended up being our spot since we ended up there 3 times. What a fun place. We got back in time to escort the rest of the group back to Spagna to meet up with our tour director. We walked all around. Trevi Fountain, Piazza Colonna, the Pantheon and many other fun places along the way. Boy it was a long day (or should I say 2 days since I didn't sleep on the plane). Go figure, a tall woman can't get comfortable on a horrendously long flight in order to sleep? Crazy! One of the funniest things that happened was as we were sitting by a fountain, all of the sudden it started pouring. Like out of the movies. Know what I mean? No rain, to buckets of rain. And all of the sudden umbrella's appeared out of nowhere. It was insane. Apparently Italians keep em on their person at all times. Good thing cause you never know when it's gonna pour on ya.

The next day was all about the Colosseum and Roman Forum. Of course it started raining on us again. And of course, being the girl scout that I am, I forgot my umbrella at the hotel. Doe!!! Needless to say my kind friends shared with me. Bless them. Again, I was wow'd by the architecture and landscaping. So beautiful. Um, yes. It's official. I'm an italian tourist nerd. I totally bought a sweatshirt that says Italia on it. Do you still love me anyway? Hope so. Side note...Um, can I express to you how yummy the Gelato was?! Wow!!!! I'm all about the fruity goodness. I tried pear gelato and I almost kissed the man who spooned it into my gelato cone. Seriously that fantastic to my taste buds! I'm afraid...I'm a gelato addict now. Dangit!!!

You can't go to Rome and not see Vatican City!!! So yep, we did. It's smaller than I envisioned. Is that possible? I mean it's still big don't get me wrong, but I just pictured something larger I supposed. Blast this imagination of mine and the reading like Davinci's Code, etc etc etc. Or was it Angel's and Demons? Hm, I'm thinking the latter. Regardless...It was very cool though. Sistine Chapel, wow. Did you know a piece of the sealing fell down due to a bomb? It was a miracle that it didn't destroy the whole thing, but it was just a small part. I did not know that. After the Vatican, we went to the Castle of Angels. This was pretty cool as well. What a view from the top. Wow. After that, Linz and I had our own adventures and mischief. I'd tell you, but I'd have to kill you. Or at least torture you. I'd rather not resort to that. :)

Now it's on to Tuscany. I have always dreamed of going to Tuscany. It just seemed so romantic and since I'm a romantic, it seemed like a perfect match. Guess what? I wasn't wrong. So beautiful!!! On our way to Florence, we stopped at San Gimingnano. We went up the tower and took beautiful pics of all the vineyards and landscape. The cobblestone streets. The shops. So fun!!! After continuing on to Florence, a few of us took the train to go see the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Hello, I was that close. I HAD to see it. It was cool. The whole time I wanted to ask someone to pinch me to make sure it was all real. But I didn't dare ask the smelly guy sitting next to me on the train. No it wasn't a person in our group, he was a stranger and I don't normally have strangers pinching me. Well..yeah. I did say 'normally'. :)

Boy, I wish I had another day in Florence. We saw the Piazza Santa Croce, The Duomo, The Baptistery door for John the Baptist, and we shopped at the awesome markets. That was a blast!!! Hello. That's saying a lot coming from me, the girl who hates shopping. :) After all of that, we got back together in order to go to a lookout spot for Peggy and George (a couple in our group) to renew their vows. So romantic!!! They bought a rose for each of us to hold. They exchanged vows. And we asked them as a group if they took one another as man and wife again. It was sooo sweet!!!! After dinner we walked home and we were crossing this bridge (totally romantic) and Shawn comes running up to hold my hand as we crossed the bridge. Too cute/funny. :)

On our way to Venice, we stopped in Padua. What a quaint town. It's famous for their university. It was funny, they strip down to their undies when they graduate/pass and run around etc etc while everyone congratulates them. Well, we actually saw this happen. It was a little strange to watch (and when I say strange I mean awkward). But fun that they are that excited about passing. We finished our drive to Venice. We went into town and saw the Rialto Bridge.

Venice was just as I imagined. So beautiful. We did our own tour along the canals and narrow alley ways. We visited churches, took pictures, visited the Jewish Ghetto. We took a gondola ride which was awesome!!! St Marks Square was very cool. One of my friends even fed the birds (totally illegal now but who's telling). But my favorite besides the gondola ride was going up to the tower and seeing the amazing view. Breathtaking!!!

2 of my friends and I stayed an extra day and shopped. However, when it was time to fly home...it would seem that Italy didn't want us to go. We flew from Venice to Rome, but got stuck in Rome until they finally told us the flight was canceled. We were there for 4-5 hours with trying to get a new flight and waiting for the shuttle. It didn't make me feel very fluffy. Thats for sure. But I'm grateful we didn't get on a plane that was broken. However, my friends got food poisoning that night so the next day when we were going to fly out, it wasn't very lovely for them. Again our plane was delayed so we missed our transfer in Chicago. Honestly, I was just grateful to be in the USA. But as it turns out, it was a blessing because our nice Italian airport people gave us bogus tickets that wouldn't have worked in Chicago anyway. The lady felt sorry for us after hearing our story so she put us on a plane with another airline so we wouldn't be delayed another day, thankfully. Love Chicago airline person Karen for that!

Although the traveling part was horrendous, Italy was fantastic. :) Sorry for such a LONG post, but I really did try to condense it and only posted a small amount of pics. Hope you enjoy it regardless. :)

Passport in Check and Ready to be Stamped

It's official, I am going to be getting my very first stamp in my passport! Ok, I have to admit that I have actually traveled outside of the country before, however, it was BEFORE the whole 'you have to have a passport' uproar.

To say that I'm excited is kind of putting it mildly. Actually, to say that I'm not nervous at all, would also be a little bit of a lie. I'm ubber stoked and I'm fairly nervous as well. I have never flown on a plane for this amount of time. And I keep hearing all sorts of do's and don'ts that make me want to vomit. Seriously, I'm not sure which I'd rather be. Overly prepared so that I have all these nerves. Or under prepared and surprised if things end up happening. I tend to lean more towards the overly prepared (I was a girl scout after all), however I hate the whole nerves part. I think I roll with things pretty well, but dang the nerves! :)

I have a check list. Given to me by friends and family members mind you. Would you like to hear it? Here goes: 1) Find the good looking Italian men and flirt. 2) Kiss an Italian man. 3) Find a reason not to come back (aka marriage). 4) Find the romance in Italy. 5) Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Funny how they all pretty much revolve around MEN. Now listen friends and family. I know you all have high hopes that Italy is going to provide for me what America has not, but I really am going just to mark off one of my dream places. To see the wonders that Italy has to offer. To relax, find peace, be awed, and marvel at my surroundings while enjoying a Gondola ride. Seriously! :) Ok, and if I happen to have a fling...so be it. But REALLY, I'm just excited to be going and seeing all the places that I've always wanted to see. So I say to you..my passport is in check, and ready to be stamped. Ciao

Mediocre or Great?

As I was sitting in the hospital room last night, I got to thinking of many things. Of how this scene was all too familiar. Of how 'plans' don't always go the way we envision them to. Of how if we dwell too much on these types of things, how easily sadness creeps in. So I say to you... 'Plans Shmans'!!! Oh sure, make plans, but be flexible in knowing that life happens in unpredictable ways. Don't allow THAT to rattle your cage so much that you cannot re-cooperate and instead you wallow in the drama that is your life. Because believe it or not, we all could do that. Instead, roll with it. Be happy! It's a choice. Sometimes that choice feels like a wrestling match, but it IS a choice.

Last night, as I sat in the hospital chair across from my older sister as she lay in bed hooked up to IV's and tubes aplenty, I reflected on all that she has been through. Is she perfect? Um, that would be a NO! Who is? Does any person deserve to go through such horrible hardships and health problems? I personally don't think so. However, it's made her who she is. We talked of many things. I let her talk about whatever she needed to talk about. Though an exhausting night, it is times like these when I know my sister best. We can lay aside all the junk and she is the little girl I grew up with. She is ... my sister.

It's so interesting at how it's times when we have these mandatory 'time outs' that we often times reflect on what is, what could be, and what should be. I am NOT a perfect person. I will never be perfect in this life. That doesn't go to say, I will never stop trying. It was interesting. The other day I was playing a game (yes you read that correctly and no, do not invite me to game night tomorrow cause it's not gonna happen *smiles*)..anyway, I was playing a game where we were given 2 options and you choose which option you'd rather do. Let's face it, most times both options stunk, but it usually made for funny conversation starters. One of them was.."Would you rather be mediocre (average) for all of your life OR know you are meant to do something great your whole life but never being able to attain that greatness." I couldn't swallow it. Because the first option is basically saying you are ok with just getting by with the bare minimum. The second option is saying that you would be ok with constantly feeling like a failure. I honestly couldn't make a choice knowing the outcome of both. Because here's the thing, we come here...to the earth, KNOWING we are meant to do something great our whole life. We are meant to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are meant to be examples to our fellow man. We are meant to be good people and to help one another however we can. We are MEANT to do great things!!! And I HAVE to believe I'm succeeding in those things. Whether it be in some small way or a big way, it doesn't matter because it means success and that is fine by me. So I choose option 'C'. I choose to KNOW I am meant for greatness and KNOWING that I will eventually attain it. Hopefully repeatedly. :)

Moral of the story? Do we still plan? Heck yeah we plan! But the point is, life is not on a train track. We are not bolted down to something and that is just how things are gonna pan out. We can get off course a little bit because of things thrown our way. We MUST be flexible so we can learn from these experiences. That's how we grow. Don't let it make you mediocre or stop you in your tracks. Let it help make you a better person by learning and growing and being happy with where you are at, right now! :)

Oh What a Weekend Filled with Tykes

This weekend was BLISS!!! Ok, yes it was wonderful to watch Conference...but really I'm ecstatic to have been able to spend major quality time with my kids. Not just one or two, but ALL of them (minus one). I was thrilled, to say the least! My kidlets put so much joy into my heart that it makes me wonder why in the world I bother leaving them in the first place? Hm, something to think about...

Anyway, I have some major reporting to catch you up on. First of all before the weekend happened and before I actually knew I was going to see my kidlets, I happened to be reading my sister-in-law's blog. Something I really enjoy doing so I can be updated on my kids. Especially when life has been crazy busy and I haven't been able to see my kids in a couple weeks like recently. Anyway, she just posted about how my sweet Abby lost her VERY FIRST TOOTH!!!! They even videoed my brother pulling it, which is his first pulling by the way. It wasn't gross like tying it to a door and slamming it, it was cute. I'll explain in a minute, but while I'm watching the little clip...I seriously started welling up! I'm such a baby!

Ok, back to my brother. I'm so proud of the dad he is. He does such a great job. Who would have thought that the brother who always picked on me as a child would end up being a loving, caring father. :) Love you Nick! Anyway, Abby is sitting on Nicks lap, quite obviously nervous. Nick has a tissue and he goes in for the tooth as she tells him she isn't ready or something like that. He acts like he's listening to her and takes his hand down. At this point you aren't really sure if he's already pulled it or not (which he had). But he tells Abb's that he just wants to feel her tooth again so he barely touches her tooth as she's telling him no again (he did that so he could clean it up a little for the camera), so he backs off again. But this time, you see she HAS no tooth there. Oh so clever. This time, she realizes it and is as happy as can be. That's when I realized my big girl is growing up...my meanie brother grew up...and I'm honored to be apart of this family. Ok, maybe I already knew that part. :) So proud of you brother! So proud of you Abb's.



Next off, my other niece Madison (9 days younger than Abby) also loses her tooth. Yup, you read that right. Want to know the freaky thing? She lost it 9 days after Abby! Totally not kidding. Again, my older brother Will pulled his first childs tooth. Proud of you too Brother!!! Of course he didn't wait for his wife, but it was either that or have his daughter go into hysterics. Apparently that little tooth REALLY wanted out! Good thing daddy got home in time and the babysitter was no longer on duty (we were at girls night). According to my brother, Madison was VERY brave. She didn't cry and she told me it didn't even hurt. So proud of you too Maddie baby. The first tooth is always special, just like I was telling you. :)



Side note, Compare pics...the girls teeth are the exact opposite teeth on the bottom. Would've been super freaky if they were the same teeth though. ha. Anyway, I had to take a pic of my sweeties. As I was doing this, my precious Braxton came running over smiling at me. I asked him if he wanted his picture taken. He just smiled at me. So I told him I was going to take a picture of my Handsome Braxie. He kept jumping up and down making a picture impossible until I finally got this pic. Once I took it, he wanted to see it and just said "handsome". He's doing so well and of course handsome! :)



Lastly, I have come to realize my kidlets pay a little too much attention to their TT's words. Good thing my language is clean. Phew... So I'm sitting on the couch and my little Ry-ry exlaims "What the..." I couldn't believe my ears. I just looked at him and asked what? He just smiled his charming little smile and laughed. Oh dear. Then throughout the rest of the night I kept hearing words like "totally! really, really!" and other words that I use in the context that I use them. It was actually pretty hilarious. Just goes to show..our little ones really do learn from us. I'm honored to have these little tykes in my life, showing me that I need to continually be a better person, a better teacher, and a better aunt. Love you my little tykes. :)

Working Hard Against Us

It's been very interesting. Being an older, single woman, I have had the opportunity to be present in many conversations related to relationships, dating, and theories as to why things are the way they are. Because of my nature and perhaps my schooling, I find myself asked what my opinion is on these types of topics and even on others current situations. Honestly, I feel I have a pretty good grasp on how things are, how they should be, and what hard questions to ask ourselves when in those kinds of relationships. However, saying all of that, it has always been amazing to me that no matter how logical and eloquent I am with those around me on this subject, I seem to forget EVERYTHING when it comes to myself. I ALWAYS seem to feel I'm the exception to the rule. Perhaps that is how we all are. Why is that? Why is it so much harder to find someone we are compatible with and eventually will marry? Well, interestingly enough this subject (sort of) was a topic for Visiting Teaching this month. For those of you who are not members of the church, Visiting Teaching is a monthly program in the church where we visit each other on a one on one basis and are able to chat with each others about our lives and talk about a specific lesson/thought provided by our Church leaders.

Let me explain the tie in. This month we talked about how we must 'Uphold, Nourish, and Protect the Family'. You may ask, how in the world I got dating and marriage out of this topic? Well, I will tell you. I feel that Satan's focus for destroying the righteous, has been a focus on destroying the family. He does not want us to have good, strong families. I believe his focus has not only been on destroying families, but I believe his focus has turned into not allowing them to begin in the first place. I won't bore you with my ramblings of my theories on this issue, but I will say that I believe this is the 'why' to some of our questions. Satan does not want us to have strong, righteous marriages. He doesn't want us to start righteous families. Look at the statistics of singles in the Salt Lake Valley alone (let alone the world). Insane. In my ward alone, we have a couple hundred who attend and there are 3 wards that meet in that building! Single adults are everywhere and it feels as though they are becoming more and more 'ok' with this way of life. The 'hurry' for getting married is no longer. Does that mean Satan is winning? I certainly hope not. We must fight for our families and future families! Dating should not be so serious that marriage is a primary thought (lets not freak ourselves out or our date), however, it should not be forgotten all together (meaning date for pete's sake!). hahaha

Julie B. Beck says this "As a disciple of Jesus Christ, every woman in this Church is given the responsibility for upholding, nurturing, and protecting families." Ladies, we have a responsibility as mothers, and if we are not mothers than future mothers. We have a responsibility as aunts and as teachers. We simply have a responsibility. I hope you feel that. Though we have forces working hard against us, we also have forces working hard for us. If only we work hard along side the right force. :)