Food for Thought

~ "Faith implies a certain trust." "Doubt and faith cannot reside in the same place at the same time." -Pres. Monson

~ "Find the joy in the journey" -Pres. Monson

~ "Your life is an occasion, rise to it." -Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium

~ "Repack your fear with faith" - Sister Tracy

~ "Be active, not passive." -Dallin H. Oaks

~ "It's not what you get from enduring through, it's who you become that truly matters!" -church discussion

~ "What does Constance mean? It means to be better today, than you were yesterday." -church talk

For Too Long.. And then There was Institute

For too long, I have been drowning out my thoughts in my loud music, TV, movies, etc. I'm not sure if it's because I just don't want to come to terms with where my thoughts will lead me, or if it's because there's a sense of numbness. Either way, I've appreciated the numbness. I've needed the numbness.

What a confession. Right? Well, it's true. And tonight, after what feels like a very long time, I felt something. I'm not saying it was earth shattering. But I'm hoping, in time, it will continue to sink in. But I felt like maybe I saw a spark in the distance of a very very dark night. And though that spark fizzled out quickly, I still remember a little bit of what I saw. I don't know how long it will stay with me. But maybe, just maybe it will last me til the next spark happens.

"Stop and say, I will give you my very best" -Dr Taylor Hartman. I guess, sometimes all it takes is having someone by your side, helping you push through to the very end.

There is Peace In Knowing..

As you are aware, I have been having some health issues as of late. In early Fall they found that I had somehow contracted the H. Pylori bacteria. You can only get this bacteria through food or water and it is not originated in the USA. Since I've only been to Italy recently, it would appear that I contracted this bacteria there. Sad, but Italy was still worth it. :) Unfortunately because I had neglected going to the doctor for so long, I then had to deal with ulcers and a lovely diet with medications that in my opinion... would kill the weak. (haha). As months continue to move forward, and my symptoms have not relinquished their hold on me.. more aggressive tests have been performed. Yay. Conclusion? There is peace in knowing SOMEthings rather than guessing about EVERYthing.

Here are the things that have gone through my mind right after waking up from anesthesia... #1 Thank you for that FANTASTIC drug!!! Apparently I was given the same anesthetic that Michael Jackson was addicted to. Believe me folks...I can see why. It was AWESOME!!! :) #2 Thank you for the follow up reading material, cause I didn't really remember all that the doc was telling my mama-sita. #3 I didn't think it was a forever thing. I thought we'd find the problem and it would be silly. I'd take a pill and it would be gone. Apparently I was wrong.

Apparently I have a Hiatal Hernia in my Esophagus. This means that my esophagus doesn't close properly and my stomach acid ventures. This would be one of the causes or possibly THE cause of my severe chest pain, heartburn, nausea, etc. Ironically you see this kind of thing in old people, smokers, or overweight people. Not really people like me. Whateve's. Now, I'm just waiting on the biopsies cause the C word came up and they are testing to see if the H. Pylori bacteria is being stubborn in my gut and won't die die die. Conclusion? There is still peace in knowing. Will I always have this Hiatal Hernia? Yes. But I know that I can handle whatever comes my way. We all can. (Regardless of the biopsy results.) Though there are things in our lives that seem hard, we can pull through. So I plan on dancing in this rainstorm, just a little bit longer. :)

December Confessional Block

Sorry I'm a little late on this one. I guess just a few days...so maybe I'm not THAT sorry :) Ok, so my December thoughts/confessions...

~ I have secretly always wondered if a person who wears fun undergarments (aka over the shoulder bolder holders since I am limited to that one article) felt differently than those who just wore boring undergarments. Let's just say I've decided to try out my theory. Result? I'm feeling SASSY!

~ I really hate stereotypes. I try not to stereotype and I really hate it when others do it. However, I've totally been called Betty Crocker this month and jokes have been made regarding the cooking and the holidays, etc. I'm beginning to think that the Betty Crocker stereotype might not be a bad one. What's so bad about someone who takes pleasure in cooking for others? Especially when its delectable meals and treats? Hello! Lets think about that one for a second!!!!!!!

~ Though I've been super busy socializing. I honestly don't think I could ever love anything more than spending time with my kidlets. They say the funniest, sweetest, cutest things. Really, no one has captured my heart the way my nieces and nephews have. Even though December has not been good to me, they certainly have! Love my kids!!!

~ When you think of what you treasure, what comes to mind? So many things come to mind, but I'm gonna throw a random one out there. Laughter. I really treasure laughter. It makes tense situations easier. It makes fun things funnier. It makes everything happier. I really love to laugh. So thanks for all of you who have made me laugh. :)

Alrighty, that's enough of my thoughts/confessionals for December. Peace Out!

Looking Up

One day, I was driving my car and I noticed a middle aged woman looking up. There was just something about the way she was looking up into the sky. Next thing I knew, I looked up in the general direction she was looking. I couldn't see anything but blue sky. I glanced back at the woman. She was still mesmerized. I then noted that I was passing an assisted living facility. I'm not sure of this woman's situation, the things I've just stated above are only my observations of a brief few seconds. But here is a few thoughts that came to my mind. Sometimes, it isn't until we haven't had the blessing or opportunity to see something or experience something.. that we realize how grateful we are for those things when they are back in our lives. This woman may have been experiencing her first outdoors walk in a long time. She may have been simply amazed at how blue the sky appeared to her that day after being cooped up indoors for a time. Who knows. But what I do know is this, it made me think. How often do I stop to look up? How often do I just stop to enjoy the greatness around me. We are truly blessed to be living in a place with so much beauty around us. I am grateful that the sky is blue. I am grateful that I have eyes that see that color. I am grateful for things and people who help me remember.

My Version of a Christmas Letter...

(Mute my playlist so you can hear the slideshow...) :)

Holiday Cheer

I suppose I'm making a confession. I'm really struggling to find the Christmas Spirit this year. I guess I can see the whole ba-humbug part of things. Sad to say it, but true. Today was the first day that I put on Christmas music and the only reason I did it was because I realized I was depriving the guys at work. I even shut it off for a little bit, telling them "I needed a break". What's that about? Normally I can't get enough of my Christmas Music and I'm sad to have to put the music away. I've not really participated in anything too Christmasy and I shy away from anything having to do with the holiday. I have no desire to go see the lights and I have no desire to do any of the things I absolutely LOVE about Christmas. Alright, who stole Christmas Tandy?! I'm saddened by this mood and wish I could snap out of it. Before I know it, Christmas is going to be over and I'm going to have missed it all. Sigh. Someone knock the jingle bells into me...will ya?!

Even though I am in this mood, I do love to see everyone else enjoying this season. After all, I do love the reason for this season. :) I hope you all are having a Merry Christmas!!!