1 week ago
Monday, September 1, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Body Language...Whaaaa???
I've always been fascinated by the idea that body language speaks the words we are too afraid of saying out loud. I recently went to a body language class. Granted, it was only an hour, but it was super interesting. I'm excited to delve into this a little further as time goes on.
Did you know that while you are speaking, the brain prepares and organizes 650 words per minute to say. At the last moment, our Conscience filters this down to 150 words. As a person speaks, there's an average of 500 words that are being held back in the Sub-Conscience. These words tend to show up in our body language. Hello...that's crazy! Kind of puts a different spin on 'filtering our words' and being proud of ourselves that we did, only to find out the other person probably got your unfiltered words through your body language. Unless you've mastered your body language skills. In which case, we need to talk.
57% of communication is based off of Gestures and/or Body Language.
36% of communication is based off of Tone of Voice.
7% of communication is based off of Words.
Those stats speak volumes.
There is 40 pieces of info in your conscience to every 20,000,000 in the sub-conscience. The Sub-Conscience tries to help you find answers. The Conscience filters based off of what is familiar to you. Like standing with your arms crossed and putting off the impression that you don't want to be approached. This is why getting rid of a mannerisms or behaviors is difficult. We default to what is familiar. And crossing our arms feels comfortable and familiar. But if we keep introducing new behavior, our conscience will no longer filter out the new behavior that once was unfamiliar. The theory is that poor body language can be changed into good body language that helps us express ourselves.
Some things I learned:
~Standing on one leg gives off the impression that you are off balance.
~Feet pointing in different directions gives off the impression that you are unclear or indecisive.
~Hands touching gives off the impression that you are not open, not confident.
~Looking Up and to the Right means upcoming, creative, images, artistic
~Looking Up and to the Left means history, linear, facts, numbers.
~Looking Up and skyward means look outside of self, open for direction, trust, and spiritual.
~Looking Down and at heart means personal, look within self, emotional, internal.
~Looking Side to Side means internal voice, authoritative voices, other's opinions, following directions.
Did you know that while you are speaking, the brain prepares and organizes 650 words per minute to say. At the last moment, our Conscience filters this down to 150 words. As a person speaks, there's an average of 500 words that are being held back in the Sub-Conscience. These words tend to show up in our body language. Hello...that's crazy! Kind of puts a different spin on 'filtering our words' and being proud of ourselves that we did, only to find out the other person probably got your unfiltered words through your body language. Unless you've mastered your body language skills. In which case, we need to talk.
57% of communication is based off of Gestures and/or Body Language.
36% of communication is based off of Tone of Voice.
7% of communication is based off of Words.
Those stats speak volumes.
There is 40 pieces of info in your conscience to every 20,000,000 in the sub-conscience. The Sub-Conscience tries to help you find answers. The Conscience filters based off of what is familiar to you. Like standing with your arms crossed and putting off the impression that you don't want to be approached. This is why getting rid of a mannerisms or behaviors is difficult. We default to what is familiar. And crossing our arms feels comfortable and familiar. But if we keep introducing new behavior, our conscience will no longer filter out the new behavior that once was unfamiliar. The theory is that poor body language can be changed into good body language that helps us express ourselves.
Some things I learned:
~Standing on one leg gives off the impression that you are off balance.
~Feet pointing in different directions gives off the impression that you are unclear or indecisive.
~Hands touching gives off the impression that you are not open, not confident.
~Looking Up and to the Right means upcoming, creative, images, artistic
~Looking Up and to the Left means history, linear, facts, numbers.
~Looking Up and skyward means look outside of self, open for direction, trust, and spiritual.
~Looking Down and at heart means personal, look within self, emotional, internal.
~Looking Side to Side means internal voice, authoritative voices, other's opinions, following directions.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
2013 Christmas Card
Sunday, December 1, 2013
To Pursue or Not to Pursue? That's the Question.
Let's stop talking in circles and get right down to it. Guys think girls are confusing and girls think guys are confusing. I would venture to say that both are correct when it comes to relationships. The question is, how do men and women overcome this 'you are so confusing' syndrome and end up getting together? Allow me to break down some of these barriers and tackle one topic at a time over the course of this blog, in an effort to help better understand one another. Since I cannot talk to you from a married persons perspective, or even a male perspective, I will do so from this 30 Something girls perspective. Buckle up. This is gonna be fun. :)
Recently, I had a friend get married. I adore this friend. She doesn't make decisions lightly and this is no different than what she has done with the person she just married. Her husband PURSUED her like every woman wants to be pursued. And when she wasn't sure where her feelings were at, he was PERSISTENT and patient. Listen guys, this is important. Women want to be pursued and we want you to be persistent but we also need you to be patient.
PURSUED
At this age, we've all been burned and are nervous for one reason or another. But the simple truth is, women WANT to be pursued. We don't want to be the one pursuing. It makes us feel less like the woman in the relationship. And let's be honest guys, it doesn't make you feel super manly to have the girl chasing after you. Does it? I mean, I get that it's flattering and a nice break to be able to sit back and have the girls do the front work, but ultimately you want to be the man in the relationship. Right? So help us to be the woman in the relationship, take the first step for us. Dating and marriage are work enough, we don't need to add role reversals to the equation when that is ultimately NOT what you want in a relationship. If it is, perfect. Wait for your woman to chase after you. But if that is not what you want, then guys.. ASK GIRLS OUT. I know, it's a crazy thought. But listen, girls want to FEEL like they are pretty. That they caught your eye. That you are interested in getting to know them better in a setting other than a 'hang out'. Girls want to KNOW they are going on a date. I'd say a high percentage of the women I know do not know if they are going on a 'date' with you, or if you've just invited them to 'hang out'. Unbeknownst to you, we go into these situations ready to pay for ourselves because we simply do not know if we are on a date. It is NOT because of the equal rights movement that we open our own doors and pull out our wallets. A lot of times, It is simply because we are completely uncertain of the situation and are feeling a little awkward and don't want to make assumptions. What does that tell you? You need to make your intentions known. It's refreshing when you do. And fellas, it's impressive.
PERSISTENT
Alright, I know this one can be a little bit more difficult for some. I'm not saying to ignore a ladies request to leave her alone. Let's not be a creepy stalker. But what I am saying is that you should definitely NOT jump ship as soon as most of you are doing. Seriously. Think of it from her perspective. You ask her out. She is flattered and interested to get to know you better. You go out. You have a good time. It is now, at this point that she is probably fully aware of you and starting to think 'he'd be fun to get to know better'. That is, if your date is going well. The chances of her thinking about you in 'dating terms' before you actually go out is pretty low. Our thought process is 'why think about it when the chances of us going out are slim to none'. We are trying to spare ourselves the disappointment by having this kind of thought process. Do you blame us? The guy/girl ratio is not in our favor. It never has been and it never will be. Dating is becoming more and more rare while hanging out is becoming more popular. Most women simply do not 'check guys out' in the way that men do. Don't get me wrong, a woman will note an attractive man or a kind man. But that's as far as it goes for us often times. From a mans perspective, you check out a woman. You assess whether or not she is dating material. You keep watching her and checking her out until you deem her date-able or not. If she is date-able, then you ask her out. Guys, you have a jump start on the whole situation. You've had longer to decide if you are attracted or not. Getting to know her and still wanting to date her is a bonus. Whereas we jumped on that ship much later than you. So when we are still trying to determine our interest level, you are a couple steps ahead of us and often times read into things way too prematurely. Give us time to catch up! Seriously. Please don't jump ship before we even get our sea legs. Give us time. Be persistent. Be patient.
That being said. Reality Check. Guys, just because you've asked a girl on a date does not automatically lop you into wanting to marry her. So don't avoid asking a girl out just because you don't know if you 'like her THAT much'. Hello, if you see a girl that you would like to get to know better, that is when a date should be secured. Feel out the situation. That's ok. Girls will give you the hints if they think you are interested in getting to know them. Another Reality Check. Girls are not thinking of marriage on the first date. We are not thinking of marriage after several dates. All we are thinking about is getting to know you. So if you take her out, do things to help you get to know one another. If you had fun getting to know one another, a second date should be a no brainer. My advice to you: Have fun getting to know people in dating situations. Dating. As in one on one. Dating shouldn't be so stressful or serious. Relax. All you are doing is getting to know a person of the opposite gender. Good luck and be good to one another!
Friday, May 31, 2013
If You Could Look Into Each Others Hearts...
It always amazes me not only how hard we are on ourselves, but on others. When I saw this quote, I really liked it. I'm not sure at what point we allowed the media to cloud our vision. Video games and movies tell us Killing is ok. TV shows tell us that being disrespectful is just sticking up for ourselves and our rights. Movie stars tell us that being crude, unfaithful, and flippant is ok. The thing is, how much of any of that is real? I'm not even sure that movie stars are able to tell the difference anymore.
The question is..if we could look into each others hearts, do you think you might behave differently toward those you encounter day to day? My change to you and myself is to treat others with a little more love, patience, tolerance, and care.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
If We Don't Teach Our Children...
I came across a quote that I whole heartedly agree with and loved.
"If we don't teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to." I'm not sure who to credit for this quote because it didn't say, but whoever you are.. thank you!
If there is an actual human being out there that does not agree with this, then I'd really like to have a discussion with you.
Already, media would have you think that men are clueless and will do whatever their woman wants. That children are spoiled and manipulative and can get whatever they want. That it's ok to shoot people. That's its acceptable to hit and fight people. That being disrespectful is definitely acceptable. That it's fine to have sex with as many people as you want and it's not that big of a deal to do so. That wearing revealing clothing will get you the kind of guys you want. That if there is a God, he isn't very loving to allow horrible things to happen. Honestly, I could go on and on. Please, take a good look over this list. If our world were made up 100% of this list, we'd have a world of seriously unhappy people. Mean people. People who only cared about themselves. That, my friends, is not the purpose of this life. And I truly believe that life is meant to be joyful and a life of good lessons.
I want my children to know that men are smart, so are women. That they will also do special things for their women, but they will do them out of respect and love. Not out of deceit and manipulation. I want my children to know that they will not be spoiled and cannot manipulate a result out of the adults in their lives. That things will be given them out of necessity and/or if there is a means to give. But only as long as they will be safe. I want my children to know that it is not ok to kill, not ok to hurt, or mistreat others. I want them to know that being disrespectful is unacceptable. I want them to understand my views on sex and that it is a sacred act between husband and wife. I want them to know what modesty is. I want them to know all of these things because I taught them, not because I relied on outside sources to do it for me.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we are looking at many religions, many beliefs, many life missions. Whatever you want to call it or whatever you specifically believe, there is an inherent tendency to do good, be good. So the question lies, what has happened to our society to go against what is inherently in us? Why do we allow such negative things to help teach and mold our children? We are saddened when horrible things happen in the world (ie Bombings, shootings, lies, cheats, wars, etc), but yet we allow the media to teach our children. Some may say, it's just entertainment. I would like to know when it is 'just' anything?
When someone is exposed to a heated argument for the first time (or fill in the blank), why is it that that person cringes and hides? When someone is exposed to a heated argument for the tenth time, why is it that that person no longer cringes and hides? But rather knows that behavior to be 'normal'. Does it not make sense that that person will then seek out what is 'normal' to them for future?
The sad thing is, whether you as a parent or friend is demonstrating this negative behavior or not, our children are witnessing it every day through media or other children who have been exposed to negative things. Who decides if our children understand what is acceptable or not? If they are exposed to the negative on a daily bases, how can they not be absorbing this information? If we allow the world to dictate Gods presence, then we are sorely mistaken that our children will be educated properly.
Please do not misunderstand me. I know there are good things out there. But to rely on outside sources to teach our children the most important lessons, is simply unwise. So if we do not teach our children about God, Love, Respect, Service, Morality, and all the good things out there, then in a negative world, we are relying on other sources to teach our children these things.
I would hope that if you are parenting children, then you are taking it serious. That you actually parent them and teach them to be successful, happy individuals.
"If we don't teach our children to follow Christ, the world will teach them not to." I'm not sure who to credit for this quote because it didn't say, but whoever you are.. thank you!
If there is an actual human being out there that does not agree with this, then I'd really like to have a discussion with you.
Already, media would have you think that men are clueless and will do whatever their woman wants. That children are spoiled and manipulative and can get whatever they want. That it's ok to shoot people. That's its acceptable to hit and fight people. That being disrespectful is definitely acceptable. That it's fine to have sex with as many people as you want and it's not that big of a deal to do so. That wearing revealing clothing will get you the kind of guys you want. That if there is a God, he isn't very loving to allow horrible things to happen. Honestly, I could go on and on. Please, take a good look over this list. If our world were made up 100% of this list, we'd have a world of seriously unhappy people. Mean people. People who only cared about themselves. That, my friends, is not the purpose of this life. And I truly believe that life is meant to be joyful and a life of good lessons.
I want my children to know that men are smart, so are women. That they will also do special things for their women, but they will do them out of respect and love. Not out of deceit and manipulation. I want my children to know that they will not be spoiled and cannot manipulate a result out of the adults in their lives. That things will be given them out of necessity and/or if there is a means to give. But only as long as they will be safe. I want my children to know that it is not ok to kill, not ok to hurt, or mistreat others. I want them to know that being disrespectful is unacceptable. I want them to understand my views on sex and that it is a sacred act between husband and wife. I want them to know what modesty is. I want them to know all of these things because I taught them, not because I relied on outside sources to do it for me.
I realize that in the grand scheme of things, we are looking at many religions, many beliefs, many life missions. Whatever you want to call it or whatever you specifically believe, there is an inherent tendency to do good, be good. So the question lies, what has happened to our society to go against what is inherently in us? Why do we allow such negative things to help teach and mold our children? We are saddened when horrible things happen in the world (ie Bombings, shootings, lies, cheats, wars, etc), but yet we allow the media to teach our children. Some may say, it's just entertainment. I would like to know when it is 'just' anything?
When someone is exposed to a heated argument for the first time (or fill in the blank), why is it that that person cringes and hides? When someone is exposed to a heated argument for the tenth time, why is it that that person no longer cringes and hides? But rather knows that behavior to be 'normal'. Does it not make sense that that person will then seek out what is 'normal' to them for future?
The sad thing is, whether you as a parent or friend is demonstrating this negative behavior or not, our children are witnessing it every day through media or other children who have been exposed to negative things. Who decides if our children understand what is acceptable or not? If they are exposed to the negative on a daily bases, how can they not be absorbing this information? If we allow the world to dictate Gods presence, then we are sorely mistaken that our children will be educated properly.
Please do not misunderstand me. I know there are good things out there. But to rely on outside sources to teach our children the most important lessons, is simply unwise. So if we do not teach our children about God, Love, Respect, Service, Morality, and all the good things out there, then in a negative world, we are relying on other sources to teach our children these things.
I would hope that if you are parenting children, then you are taking it serious. That you actually parent them and teach them to be successful, happy individuals.
Mother's Day Contribution
As you know, Mother's Day has just passed. I personally, am not much of smaller holiday person. What I mean to say is that growing up, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Birthdays, etc were not that big of a deal. Not that NOTHING gets done on these days to celebrate, but just that not much is expected. Now Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter.. those are a completely different story. But looking at the meaning of these 'smaller holidays', I realize the importance of just celebrating each other. Showing gratitude for each other. Showing appreciation for those who have done wonderful things for us.
As I contemplate Mother's Day, I can't help but just thinking of women in general. Women who are full time mom's. Women who juggle a career and being a mom. Women who cannot have children, but choose to be an example to those little one's they have contact with. Women who would love to be a mom but have not had the opportunity yet in life but also choose to be an example. Mother's Day means something different to every one of these types of women, but the one thing in common is the children in our lives and choosing to be the type of woman that helps, nurtures, and is a safety zone for these little ones in our lives. What a great thing to celebrate on a day like Mother's Day.
As an individual who has not had the opportunity to be a Mother yet, I have to say that focusing on being the best Auntie has been such a delight in my life. I lovingly call all the children in my life 'my kidlets'. If I cannot be a mother yet, I will be a safe haven for those who look to me for guidance, love, nurturing, and an example of what is good, strong, and caring. My kidlets know they can turn to me for ANYTHING and I will guide them through safely and teach them the things they need in order to be good human beings. I also know that my family members know absolutely that I can be trusted with this sacred job when they are not around in moments of need. I am grateful for these opportunities in my life when they occur and cannot wait for the opportunity to be a Mother myself someday.
In looking at my own mother, this Mother's Day. I have to say that Heavenly Father has given me the greatest gift by having my mother be my mother. She is the most amazing women I know. Not only would she do anything for her children, but she has shown me the epitome of love, nurturing, caring, wisdom, self sacrifice, hard work, dependability, and constance. I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure you get the idea. I, like most.. if not all of you, feel I have THE BEST MOM. Isn't it amazing that we all feel that way about our mothers? Wouldn't it be amazing if we all expressed that love, appreciation, and sentiment frequently to our Mothers? Not just on designated days to celebrate her.
My wish to you is the same wish I expressed to my Facebook Connections. Whether you are currently a mother, a soon to be mother, or a want to be mother, my wish is the same.. That you have a very Happy Mother's Day! I hope you know that your purpose is great. That your example is noted. That your love is felt. You are amazing women. Thank you to all who take this right and privilege seriously. :)
As I contemplate Mother's Day, I can't help but just thinking of women in general. Women who are full time mom's. Women who juggle a career and being a mom. Women who cannot have children, but choose to be an example to those little one's they have contact with. Women who would love to be a mom but have not had the opportunity yet in life but also choose to be an example. Mother's Day means something different to every one of these types of women, but the one thing in common is the children in our lives and choosing to be the type of woman that helps, nurtures, and is a safety zone for these little ones in our lives. What a great thing to celebrate on a day like Mother's Day.
As an individual who has not had the opportunity to be a Mother yet, I have to say that focusing on being the best Auntie has been such a delight in my life. I lovingly call all the children in my life 'my kidlets'. If I cannot be a mother yet, I will be a safe haven for those who look to me for guidance, love, nurturing, and an example of what is good, strong, and caring. My kidlets know they can turn to me for ANYTHING and I will guide them through safely and teach them the things they need in order to be good human beings. I also know that my family members know absolutely that I can be trusted with this sacred job when they are not around in moments of need. I am grateful for these opportunities in my life when they occur and cannot wait for the opportunity to be a Mother myself someday.
In looking at my own mother, this Mother's Day. I have to say that Heavenly Father has given me the greatest gift by having my mother be my mother. She is the most amazing women I know. Not only would she do anything for her children, but she has shown me the epitome of love, nurturing, caring, wisdom, self sacrifice, hard work, dependability, and constance. I could go on and on, but I'm pretty sure you get the idea. I, like most.. if not all of you, feel I have THE BEST MOM. Isn't it amazing that we all feel that way about our mothers? Wouldn't it be amazing if we all expressed that love, appreciation, and sentiment frequently to our Mothers? Not just on designated days to celebrate her.
My wish to you is the same wish I expressed to my Facebook Connections. Whether you are currently a mother, a soon to be mother, or a want to be mother, my wish is the same.. That you have a very Happy Mother's Day! I hope you know that your purpose is great. That your example is noted. That your love is felt. You are amazing women. Thank you to all who take this right and privilege seriously. :)
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